Last week I posted brief synopses of the four new shows that the CW is adding to its schedule next year, and while I thought they sounded terrible, I didn't realize they'd be THIS awful. Above is a preview clip for "H8R," in which Snooki confronts a guy who can't stand her. And mostly he just stands there with a dumb look on his face while Snooki jabbers on and Mario Lopez laughs at him. It's infuriating. I want the hater to break a pool cue over Snooki's head, not stand there and take a tongue-lashing from an Oompa Loompa.
On the next pages I've got previews for "Ringer" and "Hart of Dixie," which both look awful, but at least they look awful in more entertaining ways. (The CW's other new show, "Secret Circle," had a six-minute preview, but the CW pulled it out of respect for their viewers for copyright infringement.)
I'll warn you up front: this is three minutes of your life that you'll never get back. The trailer tries to come off as dark and moody and mysterious, but mostly it's just dull -- until the 2:25 mark, when Sarah Michelle Gellar talks into the mirror as if it's her twin. That's when it becomes so hackneyed and cliché that it crosses over into funny.
I love Rachel Bilson. I look forward to the day that we're married, so that I can advise her against taking projects like this.
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Bees are on the what now?
I filing a lawsuit against the CW based on the premise that these shows are so dumb I might as well have come up with them in my big dumb pitch ideas posts.
I hate that I know enough about both of these things to level this accusation — but isn’t that Sarah Michelle Gellar show basically the same plot as that Lohan “I Know Who Killed Me” flick minus a robot arm?
That H8R promises to put some awfully ugly people on my TV. Say what you will about the CW but they used to be against that sort of thing.
Will Mario Lopez ever fucking age?
So this dipshit trashes a moronic reality star, so that he can in fact BECOME a moronic reality star?
And I can’t believe this guy blew a chance that most of us would wish for. He gets to take down someone he hates and he stands there catching flies. Fucking weak.
He looks like Baba Booey
H8ers looks like Cheaters, but without the fun stabbings.
I love Mario Lopez fake cracking up when in fact it’s not funny and moreso cringeworthy to watch. I’m just glad the guy called her a drunk slob to her face. I’d love for this to backfire where the people feel no remorse and don’t apologize to the “celebrities.”
Well this certainly solidifies every Italian “guido” stereotype. If Snooki really happens to be Chilean how ironic it is that she’d assume the most egregious Italian mannerisms just by being adopted by them.