Hipster Dogs liked Chelsea Kane better on the Disney Channel
Dancing with the Stars (ABC) — Season finale. Your finalists are Chelsea Kane, Hines Ward, and Kirstie Alley. This is the first time in my life that I’d be happy for a Pittsburgh Steeler to win something.
The Biggest Loser (NBC) — Season finale. Now THIS is the reality show where Kirstie Alley belongs. The costume that Alley wore at the beginning of the “DWTS” season had to be taken in 38 inches for tonight’s episode. My waist is 31 inches. *shudder * Sorry, I just had a horrible image of being encased inside Kirstie Alley’s body.
Glee (Fox) — Season finale. Shot on location in New York City, in case you forgot about the time that Naya Rivera wore Daisy Dukes around the city.
The Voice (NBC) — I’m putting this in the listings — and not “American Idol” — with the vague hope that it somehow shapes popular opinion.
Tosh.0 (Comedy Central) — Brian Collins (Boom Goes the Dynamite) gets a Web Redemption.
NBA Playoffs (TNT) — Game 4 of Bulls-Heat; Heat lead the series 2-1. Last night I watched the Thunder lose a 15-point lead at home over the course of the final five minutes. It was beautiful.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Ewan MacGregor on Letterman; Meredith Vieira and Demetri Martin on Leno; Courteney Cox and Carrot Top (???) on Ferguson; Ed Helms and the Cars on Fallon; Keira Knightley on “The Daily Show”; Topher Grace on Conan; and a big night for Kimmel: the “DWTS” winners, Taylor Lautner, and Britney Spears.
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By “the Cars” I sure as hell hope you mean Lightning McQueen and ‘Mater. Because that’s the only fucking way it’s even remotely relevant in 2011.
Why was it beautiful? Oh…the Supersonics thing. Yeah, if I still paid the slightest bit of attention to hockey I’d feel the same way about the Carolina Hurricanes.
Don’t you be question marking Carrot Top. His freakish transmogrification has to be documented somewhere, it might as well be on Ferguson.
Bulls lose tonight uproxx loses a daily page view forever as I must Ledger myself
A Steeler could win. How? Are the NFL refs somehow involved with DWTS now?
I was in Vegas last fall, and I swear to God, Carrot Top was appearing here:
[www.hofbrauhauslasvegas.com]
I don’t even have a joke for that.
@ Otto Man,
There’s no need to swear to seeing Carrot Top in Vegas, since he is somehow pretty popular there. I actually saw him outside Studio 54 at the MGM Grand a couple of summer’s ago when I went to Vegas to be a groomsman in my buddy’s wedding. Say what you will about Carrot Top as a comedian, but homeboy is jacked these days, so he understands his macronutrient ratios and way around a weight room just fine.
Otto, just check into the Luxor and turn to channel 32, Carrot Top’s transfigured self will be doing the in house casino amenities tour. Horrifying.
(even manages to slip in a little drag – do not fall asleep with the channel on)
I wasn’t surprised he was in Vegas. I was surprised he had plummeted so low that he was headlining 2-for-1 Brat Night.
My waist is 31 inches.
#contextbrag