The History Channel is presently casting for a show called “Full Metal Joust,” a reality competition that will take accomplished horse riders and see who can be the best jouster. It’s just as timely and relevant as taking a bunch of engineers and seeing who can build the best trebuchet. Wait, no. The trebuchet thing is cooler.
If you are a skilled horseback rider and have the heart of a warrior, then you might have what it takes to become America’s first Full Metal Jouster and win the $100,000 grand prize.
This hard-hitting competition will recreate the raw, crushing force of 13th Century jousting battles by arming 16 fierce competitors with lances, 200 pounds of armor and a 2,000-pound war horse — all charging through an arena with one goal in mind… to become champion. [US Eventing]
Alternate title: “America’s Next Top Ren Faire Hero.” Sounds crappy, but I’ll watch on one condition: every episode ends with a loser decapitating his horse.
(thanks for the tip, Mo Charlo)
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Mark Addie should also initiate every joust with “Start the damn tournament before I piss me self”
Winner gets a giant RenFair-style turkey leg or GTFO.
Beating your dork friends at Ren Fair is one thing. Let’s see how good you REALLY are, nerds!
The trebuchet idea is better just because trebuchet is such a fun word. And they could launch different stuff, like Letterman dropping stuff off the top of the Ed Sullivan theater just for the hell of it.
Also, no horses.
As a reality show, this sounds terrible. But as a two hour live event in the summer I’d probbaly tune in.
if people die of a spike to the throat, it might be fun
Knights from Medieval Times all the world over just handed in their 2 weeks notice.
Hey, there’s a reason this event was the most popular form of entertainment for about a thousand years. I’m not sure what that reason is – it’s basically a primitive form of demolition derby – but…wait, that’s probably the reason, actually.
Jousting is the official sport of the state of Maryland (thanks, Snapple facts). I presume that means jousting was the lacrosse of it’s day.
*its
Hopefully gets canceled before some moron puts his lance through a horse’s eye.
I cant wait to see Tieg Thornton knock people off their high horses [www.youtube.com] HUZZAH
Everybody’s so sensitive about the horses, what about the guys on horseback? besides i have seen jousting, those lances get nowhere near the horses unless in the hands of an incompetent rider in which case he wouldn’t be allowed to compete anyway. This competition calls for SKILLED riders, not dumbasses with sticks