Paris Hilton Is Mad, Dumb

There was a period of time in America where Paris Hilton garnered attention and headlines everywhere she went, thanks to the twin assault of a hit reality show (‘The Simple Life”) and getting stuffed in nightvision. But we’ve moved on as a nation since then, and “The World According to Paris,” Hilton’s new reality show, debuted to awful numbers (even for Oxygen) — something for which Paris blames the network.

“Paris is furious that the show didn’t premiere at the time it was supposed to,” an insider tells me when speaking about ‘The World According to Paris.’ “She worked her tail off doing promotion and publicity for the show and then because of a technical mistake, the show aired at a completely different time in a lot of markets.”

The show aired last Wednesday at 10 p.m. like it was supposed to. Also, in Paris’s world, “working your tail off” means “getting butt-hurt and quitting.”

Her busy week of promotion included a rough interview on ‘The View,’ where Barbara Walters and Whoopi Goldberg grilled the socialite on the frivolity of her show. She reportedly flipped out backstage and got into a shouting match with a producer. In short, it was a disaster and she canceled events because of it.

What an awesome person; I’m so glad she has her own television show. Ordinarily, I’d consider this story too frivolous and pointless to cover — and that’s saying something, since I led with video of a dog biting balloons today — but I saw this GIF interpretation of what happens on Paris’s show, and I wanted to share it:

Seems like it would be pretty good. Although I don’t think T. Rex‘s tiny forelegs were evolved enough to wield dildos.

(GIF via badtvblog)