I’ve had this slowed-down clip of “Toddlers Tiaras” star Eden Wood kicking around in an open browser window for the last couple of days, waiting for some kind of inspiration to say something funny about it. But really, there isn’t much to say: it’s a little girl complaining about hairspray, only slowed down so she sounds like a man who just drank half a bottle of NyQuil. It’s terrific.
Anyway, I’m sure she’ll change her mind about hairspray by the time she drops out of high school. What I’m saying is that her parents are terrible, in case that wasn’t clear.
[whatevs]
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How is this NOT child abuse? People who do this to their children should be fined at the very least. Kiddie pageants should be outlawed. Let ‘em meet in sewers like Fight Club if they lust after the faux fame.
I would let my daughters drink half a bottle of NyQuil before I ever put them in a beauty pageant.
“I can feel it right now in my mouth.”
I can’t stop laughing, and not even in a dirty way. That was 20 seconds well spent.
At first I thought to myself, “This won’t be that funny.”
Self, you were SO WRONG.
The worst thing about this show is that, instinctively, the ones you want to punch in the face are the children because they’re goddamn insufferable, when obviously it’s the parents who, and I say this with zero hyperbole, should be in prison.
Anyone else think she’s a dead ringer for Mags Bennett in season 2 of Justified?
I loved her in Silence of the Lambs.
I love how, even with the slo-mo, even though she’s probably only 7, you can STILL hear the hick accent.
This is scary.