Bill’s Drink
As seen on: “Freaks and Geeks”
What you’ll need: Cayenne pepper, pickle juice, mustard, salt, sardines, vinegar, soy sauce, chili, dairy creamer, jelly, and after-dinner mints
1. Put a dash of this, a glob of that into a blender (it’s not an exact science)
2. Blend until it look likes a diarrhea and vomit cocktail
In the “Freaks and Geeks”’ episode (“Tricks and Treats”), the cold open shows Bill betting Sam and Neil that he’ll drink anything for $10, as long as it’s “something you can eat,” meaning nothing from the bathroom or garage. No detergents or cut-up bits of sponge, either. The two boys throw all the above-mentioned items into a blender, creating an unholy brown liquid. This was the recipe no one wanted to try but everyone wanted to make it—it was a lot of fun lining up the bottles and tins in order, and squeezing and shaking them into the blender.
But that’s where the fun stopped, because my god did it taste awful. Matt filled up three shot glasses with the sludge, and the three guys (Nadia had some after) tried to man up, but only ended up drinking about half (or less, in my case) of the content in the small glasses. The mustard was the most overwhelming ingredient, followed by the fish-stink of the sardines. The spicy taste was lodged in our throats for hours after, like a wad of gum you just can’t swallow. It was LITERALLY one of the worst things I’ve ever tasted, and I’ve eaten at Arby’s. Ten bucks was underselling the dare—you’d have to pay me at least $15 to try this concoction again. Inflation, man.
Before:
After:
I’m off to the side, gagging.
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Make the Waffle/Chocolate/STick of butter thing Homer did and I’ll be happy. Also, Tomacco.
bs. the man-egg was hard boiled.
Thanks for dressin’ up for the occasion, Matt.
@Don: Read the first installment of TV Gourmet and you’ll be happy.
Everyone knows you eat White Castle or Denny’s when drunk.
I’d like to see an attempt to make the taco from the Taco Town SNL commercial. Though you may truly die making that one.
Ah, thank you. For my next request, tell me where to find naked pictures of Nadia.
Keep going with the Simpsons theme by doing that unholy creation that Homer makes in the gambling episode. I think it was cloves, Tom Collins mix and a frozen pie crust.
Join us next week for Written by a Black Guy.
*waits patiently by phone for “the call”*
When I saw “Arrested Development,” I immediately thought of hot ham water. I find it disappointing that you went with the mayonnegg.
/yes, I know it would give you salmonella
//you seriously should not try hot ham water.
When I hear the name Nadia, I think of hot, foreign women. And when I hear the name Adam combined with “Next time, we’re doin’ drinks”, I think of Pacman Jones.
Any of this ring true?
/chuh chuh
You can thank American Pie and Big Daddy Drew for those reactions.
@Dennis
Actually, people have done that, I think it was back in 2006. It was funny to read, although they admitted it was a lot of work. And yes, they all got sick. I think it was posted on a myspace blog, so good luck finding it, it’s worth it.
Well aren’t you a tall drink of water, Mr. Kurp. (*bats eyelashes*)
I’m assuming there will be a Flaming Moe–er, Homer during your drinks post? You could also do a 40 gallon malt liquor beer (but that might just be my alcoholism talking).
And seriously, the Taco Town needs to happen if you can get access to an actual kitchen in a restaurant.
Bass-o-matic anyone?
I want that burger.
I was going to suggest the Cornballer, but that’s more of a machine than a food. Plus, I don’t want any of y’all to catch fire and/or die.
I’d like to request a couple Simpsons’ classics:
1) lobsters stuffed with tacos
2) cloves, Tom Collins mix, frozen pie crust
Fuck you Arby’s rules
Any Arrested Development meal should involve a stew made by Carl Weathers
if you’re going to do an SNL commercial, why not the Taco Town (i think it was) where the taco gets bigger and bigger and eventually is wrapped in a pizza. maybe for next time?
[www.nbc.com]
This is not a post to read when hungover.
With a warning like DO NOT order the Skip’s Scramble, how can you not take that as a challenge from Arrested Development?
You guys should’ve done Bill’s Drink in the rainbow snakeskin shorts. They would’ve helped it go down smoother.
First woman to write on WG and she gave us, “I shoved the eggs into my mouth as quickly as I could.” YAYAYAY! Proud : )
I’m so happy to see the KCF Shredder I could cry.
We didn’t do the Taco Town meal because it’s been done many times by other websites who I’m not about to give free publicity to. I’m sure it’s fantastic, though, and we’ll probably make it for fun.
I declare, @Danger, you are being mighty forward. Do go on.
I have a challenge. The Luther Burger from The Boondocks.
[www.youtube.com]
If you’re doing drinks, please do a flaming Homer.
@TF88: It’s not a challenge; it’s a well-established Paula Deen recipe that’s also served at Mulligan’s in Decatur, GA:
[www.foodnetwork.com]
[www.webcitation.org]
From How I Met Your Mother Season 1 “Belly Full of Turkey” episode, the “thanks-tini”
Barney: It’s a thanks-tini, cranberry juice, potato vodka, and… a boullion cube.
@Matt: I did not know that. Then again, I don’t watch or read a lot of Paula Deen recipes. I humbly withdraw my challenge.
geeze-us how tall is the tall guy? or has matt been 5’2″ this entire time?
This is a load of rich creamery butter.
The guy in the plaid shirt was amazing in the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
@Jen If I known I was breaking Warming Glow’s female cherry, I would’ve been far, far, far more explicit.
Thanks guys, for subjecting yourselves to this. Good lord I love these. Informative, entertaining, and now, with a woman’s touch!*
*seriously though, it was just a touch.
If you do drinks, you probably have to try that booze smoothie from Happy Endings (the one Zach Knighton invented the week after he was abandoned at the altar).
You guys should come out with a cook book or pamplet of some sort.
I ate it as quickly as I could, but still felt slightly nauseated for some time afterwords.
*afterward*
Its disgusting