Whale Wars (Discovery, Friday) — Season premiere. With the hapless, ineffectual hippies returning, so too does one of my favorite Photoshops. If I could have one superpower, I’d want it to be the ability to make Photoshops come true.
MTV Movie Awards (MTV, Sunday) — Jason Sudeikis hosts the annual convention for young people screeching at the slightest mention of Twilight. Kristin Stewart is nominated for Best Kiss twice: once each with Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson. (I just voted for Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman out of principle.)
Next Food Network Star (Food Network, Sunday) — From the channel that brought you Rachel Ray, Guy Fieri, and that chick that looks like Guy Fieri. I’m sure the winner will be a tastefully subtle gourmand.
VH1 Storytellers: My Morning Jacket (VH1) — I’ve never totally fallen under their spell, but MMJ has a deserved reputation for being one of the best live bands on the planet.
Teen Wolf (MTV, Sunday) — Teen Wolf plays lacrosse now. The show debuts after the Movie Awards, but you can watch the first seven and a half minutes here.
The Ultimate Fighter (Spike, Saturday) — Season finale. If you’re an MMA fan, check out With Leather’s take on the Joe Rogan/Maggie Hendricks situation (aka “C*ntgate”).
The Real L Word (Showtime, Sunday) — Season premiere. Only one cast member returns from the inaugural season of “The Real Lesbians of L.A.” Can anyone confirm that the opening credits is a Scissor Sisters song?
Ice Road Truckers (History, Sunday) — Season premiere. One of the stars was arrested for allegedly beating his wife in front of his nine-year-old son — but not in front of cameras. And that’s why E! gets more viewers than History. There’s no chance any of the Kardashians will ever get punched off camera.
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On one hand, Jason Sudekis is both hilarious and adorable.
On the other hand, MTV and the horrible things that teens like.
Unless Jason Sudekis does the Running Man like in the WUWT skits, I don’t think I’ll be watching that ‘awards’ show
Thank you DVR!
I think it will really show where we stand as a nation if the hot lesbian kiss and ensuing oral sex from Black Swan loses to either of the Twilight kisses. I’m real happy that a small percentage of young kids want to wait for marriage to have sex. But it’s also very unsettling that those same children want to wait for vampire or werewolf sex. Why can’t they just be casual lesbians?
Freedom; you pose some interesting societal questions. I will ponder them and watch the sex scenes in True Blood to further contemplate your provocative inquiries. I thank you.
That’s the best superhero idea I’ve ever heard. Endless possibilities.