Love in the Wild (NBC) — Series premiere. “Survivor” meets dating game. Reviews are mixed-to-poor, but I’m intrigued. If those women holding that map is any indication, this will be the funniest new show on television all year.
Great State of Georgia (ABC Family) — Series premiere. Raven-Symone stars in this new sitcom as Georgia, an aspiring actress living in New York. Hijinks ensue. Also premiering on tonight: Melissa & Joey.
The Voice (NBC) — Season finale. I watched some of last night’s episode, the first time I’d seen any of the show since the auditions. I can’t believe the bald lesbian made it to the finals.
MythBusters (Discovery) — Season finale. Myths get busted.
Royal Pains (USA) — Season 3 premiere. All I know about this show is that there’s a doctor who works for rich people in the Hamptons. I might actually watch an episode if Ina Garten guest starred as someone who died.
Franklin & Bash (TNT) — A lot of people loved Danger Guerrero’s bro-tastic recap last week and wanted to know if it would become a weekly feature. And the answer is no: it will be a recurring feature, but not weekly. Danger’s busy with studying for the bar exam, and we like to keep you guessing when you’ll get your chance to make “bar exam” jokes about drinking.
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That picture is my new favorite “might be a porno” picture.
Danger: Barbri or Kaplan?
Hey now, easy on Ina Garten. Let her suffer the gout for a few episodes.
The bald lesbian beat out another bald lesbian (maybe?) – Frenchie Davis – for her spot in the finale. It was the Great American Battle of Apathy.
I’m confused. What does the bar exam have to do with drinking?
I’m confused. What does the bar exam have to do with drinking?
It has a lot of similarities with alcoholism. It keeps you away from home for hours into the morning, makes you angry at your family for no reason, liver damage from lack of natural sunlight and vitamins, etc.
To tide you over for your next Franklin and Bash fix, I’ve included the synopsis for a few upcoming episodes below:
Episode One – Res Ipsa Pop N’ Loquitur – Franklin & Bash take on the First Amendment case of an internationally renowned break-dancer lobbying to break-dance naked to protest the continuing presence of troops overseas (or kitten slaughter, or some such political shit. Who gives a fuck?) and must recruit a local nudist colony as backup dancers dressed as various nude art figures from throughout history to show the subjective nature of what is “offensive”. But will they get the choreography right in time!?
Episode Two – Billable Ours – When a mail-order bride from Eastern Europe is rejected by the man who sent for her, a chance meeting in a coffee shop with Bash leads the firm to help with her immigration problems. Drawing upon another form of indentured servitude, the duo enlist a summer intern to marry her in order to buy time with immigration authorities. But will Franklin & Bash derp-a-derp-a-*fart noise* before it’s too late!?
Two-Part Season Finale: Franklin, My Dear, I Don’t Give a Bash – When a beautiful Southern heiress comes to the firm looking to secure her portion of the inheritance…um, Franklin and Bash both want to bang her or something? I can’t fucking do everything here. You’ve seen Gone with the Wind, right? Do some shit like that, but with brash young lawyers who play by their own rules.
…I can do this all fucking day, TNT. I will eat 20% of my own body mass raw off my own bones if I didn’t use up at least one Season Two episode title and two subplots up there. My silence is going to cost you in the future.
@ 0tarin & LastTexansFan
(*looks up from large pile of books while holding highlighter in teeth*)
Also, “bar exam” has the word “bar” in it.
I would watch Melissa…but not Joey…what to do…
There was already a “Love in the Wild” show and it was called Temptation Island and it was fantastic.
@Danger
I assumed it had more to do with the “exam” portion, since every drinking session ultimately becomes a test of its own.
[Makes a note to fine-tune his sarcasm emitter]
“Temptation Island” is by far and away my favorite reality show of all time. Nothing else is even close.
Coors Light already beat you to the bar exam jokes, not funny ones mind you, but jokes nonetheless
I’m dunn with the easy jokes
MILF Island or GTFO.
Great State of Georgia? That’s so Raven.
What’s all this talk about bald lesbians? If it doesn’t involve Bella Donna I’m not interested.
Joe Millionaire. Seriously people, that was pure gold.
As much as you don’t want Royal Pains, Natalie Zea was the guest star last night. Needless to say, she looked fucking delicious.