Piper Perabo (right) fights the moonlight.
Covert Affairs (USA) Season premiere. It’s a big night for USA, as this CIA procedural starring Piper Perabo debuts alongside Season 3 of White Collar. “White Collar” is the better show, but I’m giving “Covert Affairs” — “
and for people who’ve never seen ‘Alias’” — the lead here because it has cooler screencaps (I thought the choking one was a little too drastic for the banner image).
Soccer: USA vs. Canada (FOX Soccer, Telefutura) — The first step on the road to the 2014 World Cup begins with this Gold Cup opener from Ford Field in Detroit. Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Soccer? In Detroit? How am I not there?!?!” But I, for one, plan to find a bar with the game and root for Los Gringos. Kickoff is 8:00 Eastern.
NBA Finals (ABC) — Game 4, Heat at Mavericks. I know it’s not popular for me to say it, but I don’t hate LeBron James or the Heat. Sure, it was a low blow to televise “The Decision,” but c’mon: he picked Miami over Cleveland. I can’t fault anyone for doing that.
The Voice (NBC) — Live performances begin with the final 16 contenders. I also read something about how the coaches will perform a medley of Queen songs, but I wasn’t paying attention so I don’t know if that’s tonight. More likely the results show tomorrow. The important thing is that it doesn’t really matter.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Kyle Chandler, Kathy Griffin, and guest drummer Sheila E on Letterman; Kevin Bacon and Bethenny Frankel on Leno; Larry King, the non-Kim Kardashian sisters, and My Morning Jacket on Fallon; Flavor Flav on Conan; and an ironic pair on Kimmel: Paris Hilton and National Spelling Bee Champ Sukanya Roy. Paris: “I’ve sucked on a Roy before.”
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Nothing really matters, anyone can see…
True story: I actually spent a few hours this weekend giving “Covert Affairs” a shot. Verdict: Not as hard to watch as “Fairly Legal”, but not as good as “White Collar”. Now if only we could get a crossover with Piper and our beloved Sarah Shahi…
I’m going to spend the rest of the day with “Can’t Fight the Moonlight” stuck in my head.
I hope you’re happy.
@0tarin – ‘Fairly Legal’ is so stupid. You have a 30 year old woman who mediates legal cases, yet acts like a 14 year old Twilight fan in both her personal and professional lives.
‘Covert Affairs’ is weak, but most summer television is supposed to be. It’s fun, and Perabo is cute.
@Matt – I don’t follow the Heat, but I can’t understand this hatred for LeBron either. He screwed up in how he announced it, but he made the right decision.
So it looks like tonight’s Covert Affairs features blonde girls in bikinis getting choked. After a long, hard day of working for the Nakamoto Corporation, you can count me in.
I’d like to see LeBron win the NBA title, but that’s because I’m a contrarian asshole who is amused by others’ impotent rage. What I don’t understand is why everyone has decided to hate him so much – it’s not like he tortured and murdered a bunch of dogs or something. All he did was waste an hour of peoples’ time. And the only people he did that to were the ones who were dumb enough to watch that stupid Decision show in the first place.
@ Patty – Yuuuuuuuuup. See also, “Right Kind of Wrong.”
You yankee f*ckers are going down! Wooo, Canadian soccer!!!
*reads memo*
WHO DECIDED ALL CANADIANS HAVE TO BE POLITE?!
ahem…
What I meant to say is good luck to your fine chaps, and I look forward to a dashing display of sportsmanship. Maple syrup anyone?
“root for Los Gringos”
Wouldn’t both teams consist mainly of Gringos? And considering the demographic make up of both countries, wouldn’t Canada be more likely to consist of more non-latinos? So you’ll be cheering for Canada in a post titled “USA USA”?
CURSE YOU, COYOTE UGLY.
@Smegga:
Who would’ve thought a network could come up with a show based almost entirely around Shahi’s ass and still make me find a way to hate her?
I’d rather just watch queen concert footage on youtube than tune into the voice for that crap
also, +10 to Zack for the rising sun reference
“It’s fun, and Perabo is cute”
Perabo cute?? Quite the understatement in my opinion (and we all know my opinion is the same as fact).
Agreed on Sarah Shahi, but I prefer to remember her from Life… oh wait, she was doing the Terriers dude (with hair product)… the world is a beautiful and terrible place.
You cant play soccer in Detroit. There’s too much glass and scrap metal on the fields. Not copper though. You can get 5 bux a pound for that shit.
[www.clickondetroit.com]
GO LIONS
Sukanya Roy?
For the last time Paris, my name is not Roy.
@Sid: “Los Gringos” is what the hated Mexicans call the U.S. squad. The Brits used to call Americans “Yankees,” a derisive term that Americans adopted as a badge of pride. I call them the Gringos for the same reason (and also because it’s better than “USMNT”).
I prefer US Mutant Ninja Turtles mysmelf. If Dempsey had nailed that scorpion kick… wow. However, we are going to blow through these chumps until we hit Honduras, El Salvador, or Mexico.
“(I thought the choking one was a little too drastic for the banner image).” – I think you totally missed out on an awesome photshopping opportunity there…
C’mon, Matt. It’s 10am. Sleep it off already. Hydrate.
as an unfortunate Cavs fan I hate LeBron James. As a person who despises snow, but loves girls in skimpy clothes frolicking on the beach, I understand him.
So let me get this straight – fans can forgive alleged rapist Kobe Bryant, but not Lebron for an ill-advised press conference? C’mon people – get some perspective. Don’t hate on soccer, it’s wonderful. Every show on USA is ‘meh’. They’re very bland and forgettable.
@Matt
Thanks for the international soccer (football, the proper terminology I’m told) history lesson. I’m sure you can tell I only watch one game every four years.