Bro v. Bro, Bro!

Case #1 – This is the big case and most of the episode is about it which is good because IT HAS EVERYTHING: sluts, drugs, strippers, intrigue, blonde boobs, drama, brunette boobs, hot tubs, black bro judges who don’t take kindly to shenanigans, sexy victims, victim boobs, AND SO ON.

So Franklin and Bash go to court and are all “Come on judge let’s be serious they have no priors and should be released” and the sexy DA lady who Bash used to bone is like ‘Nuh uh they drugged ladies with French Vicodin and stuff” but the judge is all “Ok fine” probably because Simone’s boobs are all PA-POW in her court outfit. Then later Franklin and Bash are at home working up strategy and the clientsluts drop by and Simone (brunette boobs) is all “Ok listen one time I really was a stripper named Sherry Pie and I went to jail for robbing my strip club but it wasn’t my fault or something” and Amber (blonde boobs) is all annoyed like “Oh great now I’m probably going to jail” and Franklin and Bash are all “RELAX, we have a plan we’re gonna split it up so one of us represents each of you and we’re pretty sure it won’t cause a problem even though there are like 35 minutes left in this episode.” So they do but first they go to court and Amber and Simone’s boobs are all BA-DOW because dressing slutty in court is A GREAT IDEA.

So Franklin and Bash interview the victim and witnesses separately about the night in question and, BROS, this sounded like a GREAT party. They’re all “Oh we were kissing other girls and learning how to pole dance and doing tequila shots off each other naked” and I was like, “NOTE TO BROSELF STALIN, you have GOT to get invited to slutty pole dancing parties.” But anyway the witness chicks are like “Yeah those stripper chicks definitely stole that jewelry” and oh yeah I forgot to mention in the last paragraph how brunette boob’s fingerprints were totes on the doorknob to an upstairs bedroom or something where the jewelry was so THAT’s important.

ANYWAY, so DA lady shows up at Franklin and Bash’s office and is like “NEW RULE: Whichever one of you comes to me first can have their client go free but the other one’s client gets TEN YEARS of HARD TIME” because she is trying to drive a wedge between bros which is a really bitchy thing to do because everyone knows bros before hoes but what about bros before clients? So this is kinda a SERIOUS PHILOSOPHICAL QUANDARY, BROS. So serious that I should probably continue Case #1 on the next page where there will be another banner image featuring more client boobs.