I spend a disproportionate amount of time making fun of "Entourage" and expressing wonder at how anyone can root for the tiny, selfish men the show revolves around, but I will credit the show for this: after seven years of Vincent Chase's life being a non-stop parade of almost-bummers that turn out TOTALLY AWESOME, last year's season finale ended with Vince addicted to cocaine and actually going to jail. To my knowledge, it's the first time any character has suffered any kind of real-life consequences on the show.
Now we've got the Season 8 trailer, and don't worry -- Vince isn't going to backslide into drug use like EVERY OTHER CELEBRITY WHO GOES TO REHAB. The final season is all about BEING AWESOME. Please, just skip the trailer and follow along as I walk you the predictable arc of the trailer, which plays out the same way every single episode of "Entourage" ever does.
"Hey guys, sorry about my character actually suffering consequences last season. Total downer. But I'm clean now, and things are going to get back to awesome just as soon as I get back to my mansion."
"Vince is back from rehab! Come on, sluts! Let's show him our tits!"
SLUTS! SLUTS! SLUTS SLUTS SLUTS SLUTS!
"Remember how I was offended about being the voice of a cartoon character last season? Turns out it's AWESOME, bro. Also, my shirt has jaws."
"Yeah, I wrote a script. I learned how to type in rehab."
Still gay.
Still wearing Knicks paraphernalia and askew baseball caps.
Still unhappy with E.
Still pissed at Ari.
NOTE: most of the drama of the trailer comes from people walking quickly. SO EXCITING.
"What, Drama? You gonna go up against me?"
"But I got you this job!"
Say what you will about how this show is shallow, repetitive, and lazy, but Kevin Dillon has done some breakthrough work in the art of bitchface.
Actual line from Vince: "Friendship comes first." Next shot: the boys are all walking the same direction together. If I know anything about "Entourage," that means everything's going to turn out just fine for everybody. Let's see what happens.
Final line of dialogue in the trailer: "We will all prevail." Followed by: shouts of "YEAH!" and high fives.
Fin.
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I wish I was awesome enough to like Entourage. But since I live in my mothers basement watching Star Trek I will never get how it is such an accurate representation of Hollywood and how there are hot chick on it so it is amazing.
I noticed Scott Caan in one of those pictures. Are only men who are 5’7″ or under allowed to work on this show?
/oddly attracted to Scott Caan, but not proud of it
What?? No weed smoking? NOT awesome Bro.
I thought it would end with the cast leaving Lilliput
I will watch, STRICTLY for Dice Clay
Franklin and Bash > Entourage. NO ONE DENIES THIS
Did I see Tig from Sons of Anarchy in that promo?
Look, if they’re going to have the boys from SAMCRO beat the everloving shit out of these douchebags with pool cues, I’ll start watching HBO’s Ed Hardy Boys Adventures again.
But Drama better wind up on the receiving end of a hit from Happy, dammit.
Sloane is so hot she makes my goddamn teeth hurt.
That is all.
I’d like to hand a hearty +1 to Bobby. Well played.
I can’t wait for the brosephs to get wind of this post and show up here to turn this comments thread into a reprisal of the 2009 Entourage post thread.
Also, it’s disheartening that this is the best thing that Emmanuelle Chriqui has ever done (other than helping me ruin a bunch of perfectly good pants).
Correction: best thing that Emmanuelle Chriqui has done to date. I just saw that she’s going to be the voice of Cheetara in the new Thundercats show, which is awesome on multiple levels.
I would pay $100 to see Emmanuelle Chriqui in a Cheetara cosplay costume.
@Uff: you and me both, sir. We should make that one of the charities people can donate to for the KSK Kares drive this year. It would be interesting to see whether donations to get Emmanuelle Chriqui dressing up as Cheetara would exceed donations for you to rock the rainbow snakeskin get-up you had last year.
I totally thought you were kidding about douche bag going to rehab. That picture of short douche in the first slide is exactly the face people make when they find out this show is still on.
NO WAY BRAH! You do NOT want to be hating on Entourage!!111!!!1 The plot and character development through the years rivals that of Breaking Bad…only MUCH GOODER BRAH!
I think you’re onto something Matt. A website could be dedicated to bidding on hot chicks doing things. It could start with celebrities donating the proceeds to charities and slippery slope down the totem pole to desperate meth addicts with huge tits. Girls send in their photos for each challenge, which are voted and commented on, and the winning photo gets the money. Bam – Millanaires!
Hickory dickory dock, this chick was sucking my cock. The clock struck 2, I dropped my goo, and dumped the bitch at the next block. OOHHHH.
I haven’t watched his show in a few years. I think it’d be pretty rad if after the boys high five eachother on the last show, they flash forward 10 years. You see Drama on a billboard,as a big movie star, and other random shots to show how the other brahs are famous. Then, the camera would pan over to an alley, to reveal Vince is homeless, and blowing dudes for coke. Ari walks by, spots Vince, makes fun of him, then says something along the lines of “You really didn’t think you could keep up with your lifestyle and have your friends stick with you, did you?” Show goes to black as Ari goes into his limo.
Already jerked it thrice watching the trailer. No homo, bro!
(*cracks open a Four Loko, looks up at the stars*)
(Whispers) Kind of homo, bro. Kind of.
@Miamidiesel Must disagree. Best thing Emmanuelle Chriqui has ever done is Women in Trouble. Red wig FTW>
And except for Ari Entourage sucks.