My first and only reaction to this year's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue was to follow then-18-year-old (now 19!) Rookie of the Year Kate Upton on Twitter. Kate's Twitter feed was awesome: a young model's travelogue punctuated with self-portraits of her ample décolletage, which is the French word I use to sound highbrow when I'm talking about huge, beautiful tits.
Unfortunately, Kate signed some kind of endorsement with Sobe and her tweets became all about fruity drinks endorsed by dancing lizards. Gone were the pictures of cleavage and wedding bikinis. It was tough to keep following her, because I don't want to drink her goddam sugar water. As the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once said, "Tits or GTFO."
ANYWAY, the Sobe thing has finally paid off, as Kate's new commercial hit YouTube today (video next page, 1080p screenshots after). And commercial news is TV news, and no TV news is more important than TV news about Kate Upton. No joke, this is probably the most important thing I've ever written.
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![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/corona-light-150x150.jpg)
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![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/kate-vogue-6-150x150.jpg)
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I really don’t know what the premise of this ad is, but it seems to work since the front of my pants just exploded. And now I’m thirsty too.
I swear to God, if she’s with Kanye West I’m nuking everything. Human life will need to be put to a stop if shit like that is going down.
Turns out Tits are refreshing.
Try everything, like being 15-year old Mark Zuckerberg and having a surprise staring contest with a supermodel at a beach resort!
I suppose this is a commercial for having sex with Kate Upton? If so, it’s a good commercial, really got the message across.
Excellent commercial. I would happily buy their boobs.
This reminds me of the Brian Posehn bit about chicks that are so hot it just pisses you off.
FUCK!
The best part about her being so young is that we have a solid 15 or so years of her looking exactly like this and possibly taking some Blake Lively-esq pictures or making a sex tape. Here’s to the future.
Sobe? More like boobee. Amirite?
Hah! Love the song choice.
[www.youtube.com]
Sure, I would love to try the melons and the mangos.
she’s so hot that my penis just grew a penis of it’s own so it can masturbate..
It’s Droopy!