7. Vince Fires E.
Eric “E” Murphy, played by Kevin Connolly, who still can’t ride on four-fifths of the world’s roller coasters due to safety concerns, is the only decent human being on “Entourage.” He’s been Vince’s best friend since they were both kids, and later becomes his manager. When Vince’s career begins to sour, E convinces him to audition for Gus Van Sant’s new film, and when he doesn’t get the role, Vince blames his manager/childhood friend and fires E in the middle of a street. Later, Martin Scorsese, who must have thought he was agreeing to appear in a remake of Enter the Dragon but his eyebrow got in the way when signing the contract, calls Ari and tells him that he wants Vince for a role in his Great Gatsby movie—because of footage Van Sant showed him. From the audition that E got him. Because it’s a TV show, Vince and E make nice at the end of the season, but if I were E, I would have continued to manage Bow Wow and hang out with Seth Green, the only two celebrities shorter than he is.
6. Ari’s Casual (and Incorrect) Racism
On a show full of douchebags, Ari Gold might just be the douchiest of said bags. Case in point: his treatment of his poor assistant, Lloyd. Much of the show’s supposed humor can basically be boiled down to: ISN’T IT FUNNY THAT LLOYD’S GAY? AND ASIAN? HIS EYES ARE DIFFERENT THAN OURS, AND THAT’S AMUSING. IT’S HILARIOUS WHEN ARI CALLS LLOYD AN ASSHOLE BECAUSE THAT’S WHERE GAY PEOPLE HAVE SEX. HAHAHAHA*. The worst offense: after spotting a speck of dust in his office, because the cleaning staff is on strike, Ari scolds Lloyd and says, “You’re Asian, you’re supposed to be a neat freak!” Is that a thing? I know Asians are bad drivers, good at math, and they say “rong” instead of “long,” but has anyone actually ever said, “Look at that Asian; I bet his kitchen is spotless!”
*Note: actual writer’s note
5. This scene.
I take it back: there is a character worse than Ari and his name is Scott Lavin (played by Scott Caan, who’s now busy looking like a steroid addict on “Hawaii Five-0″). Like E, he’s a manager, and the two do not get along. It all begins with a fight over Bob Saget—and it’s not over who doesn’t want him—with the hate culminating in a tense table tennis scene involving women inexplicably dancing in their underwear, Vince having a threesome thanks to a game of Truth or Dare, Scott saying “mature” like the word rhymes with “manure,” a double dare involving arm wrestling, a punch-for-punch in the face offer, and the phrase “That’s not my hat, is it, bro?”
4. Shameless Car Porn.
It feels like half of “Entourage” is made up of the World’s Coolest Gang That You’ll Never Be a Part Of looking at, buying, or racing cars. There is, of course, the infamous 50 Cent scene where he’s listening to his own music, not to mention Ari’s asshole license plate (ARISFRRI). But my favorite moment of disguising your self-hatred by buying an expensive automobile is when Turtle, E, Drama, and Vince head to California Speedway to drive Ferraris around the track. Scored to a subpar Van Halen song, the whole thing smacks of effort, man. After the race, Drama says that he should buy a Ferrari, to which Turtle responds, “In this economy? People would think you’re a real douchebag.” Two seconds later, Turtle sees a $200,000 car and says, “Forget what people think. This thing is a beast.” To top it off, he’s wearing a polo shirt and a Yankees hat.
I want more like this!
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