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What’s on Tonight: Hitler!

Written by Matt Ufford / 07.25.11

I got those bitches a Holocaust. Bitches love Holocausts.

Hitler’s Suicide Ship (National Geographic) — Now that History has abandoned its 24/7 Hitler coverage, NatGeo steps in with this special, followed by Hunting Hitler’s Generals. Hmmmm… sounds good, but is there Hitler-punching?

Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition (ABC) — Season finale. Chris tries to whip a super-fat mom (445 pounds) into shape for the Disneyland Marathon. No other marathon would do, because no other marathon advertises the properties of ABC’s owners.

Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations (Travel) — Bourdain goes to Naples, where I can only hope that everyone he meets speaks in stereotypically broken English. “Antonio! Come-a eat-a dis pizza pie!”

Warehouse 13/Alphas (Syfy) — Some geek-ass commenter always chimes in with the Syfy shows when I don’t mention them. So here they are.

The Bachelorette (ABC) — Last week, Ashley eliminated Ames, the guy who was CLEARLY gay. Yes, I watched it with my girlfriend. And as much of a time-wasting farce as the “Bachelor/Bachelorette” franchise is, I actually kind of enjoy watching it if I have an audience to hear me make fun of the show. Because it’s all about me.

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10 comments
Matt Ufford posted

"What’s on Tonight: Hitler!"

  1. 07.25.11 at 5:28 pm
    George

    The cat is a nice touch.

  2. 07.25.11 at 5:30 pm
    Smello

    Eureka is also new on SyFy tonight.

    /geek-ass commenter

  3. 07.25.11 at 5:38 pm
    double dwayne bowe

    for being the most powerful man in Germany, you’d thinl he’d be surrounded by better looking women at the time…

  4. 07.25.11 at 5:41 pm
    Johnny Bravo

    My grandmother had a cat with a mustache like who she called Adolf. You don’t want to know what she called her black cat.

  5. 07.25.11 at 5:51 pm
    thecursor

    Hitler liked the fuggos.

  6. 07.25.11 at 6:24 pm
    Aeyo's Cot

    C’mon now, Hitler’s body position says whoever was pimping for him is on their way to the Eastern Front.

  7. 07.25.11 at 7:14 pm
    Alcoholics Gratuitous

    I feel like the History Channel and NatGeo are sending the wrong message – Try and wipe the Jews off the planet and you’ll get your own show! Of course, they’d probably get out bid by ABC.

  8. 07.25.11 at 8:12 pm
    king raccoon

    DON’T FORGET PROOOOOOOO WRESTLING!

  9. 07.25.11 at 9:22 pm
    Dash Rip Rock

    You know with this Hilter guy, the more I learn about him the more I don’t care for him.

  10. 07.26.11 at 1:50 pm
    Jack Burton

    Awwww. Look at him. Hitler’s such a shy, bashful dude, soft spoken and unsure of himself around the ladies. What a nut! If he’d just shown a little backbone he could have been famous for something. I wonder whatever happened to that guy…

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