I posted this local news story the other day because (A) a man shooting himself in the penis with a pink gun is inherently funny, and (B) the man-on-street interviews are absolutely essential journalistic touches (“A bullet in your penis? That would hurt!”).
However, Chandler police find the dick-shooting of Joshua Seto no laughing matter, and are still looking into Seto and his fiancée, Cara Christopher. Apparently, investigators find it odd that Seto was in no obvious pain or distress after a bullet fired from a pink, 380-caliber, special edition breast-cancer awareness gun went through his penis and scrotum.
Meanwhile, police are warning armed residents to use holsters, not waistbands.
The movies and TV shows that show tough guys with guns shoved into their jeans are not realistic, Chandler police Detective Seth Tyler said Sunday. The cops and robbers of the silver screen most likely use rubber weapons, which weigh far less than the real things, Tyler said.
“Whenever you handle a firearm, whether you are a novice or experienced, always treat firearms as though they are loaded, said Tyler, a spokesman for the department. “If you are going to carry a handgun on your person, use a holster, not your waistband.” [AZ Republic]
AHAHAHAHAHA. “Use holsters, not waistbands.” The Chandler police went on to add, “There are a lot of little tricks to gun ownership, things you should have learned a long time ago. Such as, if you leave milk out, it can go sour. Put it in the refrigerator, or, failing that, a cool wet sack.” Arizona’s like the violent retard baby of Florida and Ohio.
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Joshua Seto later tested positive for crack and PCP, but explained that the only thing he was high on was Love for his Scrotum and Dong.
HEY! The girls here are way prettier than Ohio!
/no defense for the rest.
@ Mike G
I dont know man, the rural areas of our state are pretty brutal when it comes to women. Casa Grande is almost like Walmart sponsored a city and then added more ugly…
I guess you could say Casa Grande is to attractive people what Chernobyl is to Russia.
And put your garbage in a garbage can, people. I can’t stress that enough. Don’t just throw it out the window.
/”Garbage in garbage can”…hmm, makes sense
Hey Corey Rangel, did you know you were going to be on television today? Try to dress like you care about your job.
/dick shot by gun joke
@NumberJonny5 that is dead on. That place is the worst.
special edition breast-cancer awareness gun
That detail makes it extra special.
WTF is a Breast Cancer Awareness gun FOR? Spreading awareness?
HEY YOU! YEAH YOU! OUT OF THE CAR!!! NO, I DON’T WANT YOUR CAR. NO, I DON’T WANT YOUR MONEY. I WANT TO TALK TO YOU FOR A MOMENT ABOUT BREAST CANCER. DO YOU HAVE A MOMENT? OF COURSE YOU DO, YOU’RE BEING HELD UP IN THE MIDDLE OF A BUSY INTERSECTION WITH A PINK GUN. NOW DOWN ON THE GROUND BITCHES, AND LISTEN! YOU’RE GONNA BE HERE FOR A WHILE. WE’RE GONNA START WITH YOUR BASIC DUCTAL CARCINOMAS AND GO FROM THERE….
@ Jack Burton
Well, obviously this is the work of Gary the no trash Cougar. He’s moved on from intimidating kids about littering to intimidating adults about breast (and in this one case testicular) cancer.
/Remember: Give a lobbage, pick up your garbage!
//*BANG**BANG*
So THIS was the “personal matter” that kept Plaxico out of practice today…
I bet Arpaio finds a way to get Steven Segal on this case.
“Arizona’s like the violent retard baby of Florida and Ohio.” Well put sir. I’m totally gonna steal that.
Is it bad that I own that same gun? At least I keep it concealed in my holster. In my cock holster.
I still don’t get how the whole Avatar thing works, I made a Gravatard profile and well, okay, whatever that did. I don’t really care but you people are doing it here and I don’t even know what the hell ‘Uproxx’ is even supposed to mean–anyway, about that cockholster, it’s my vagina is what I was getting at, or possibly my mouth. You’re welcome, Up-rocks.
Aw, hell, it worked.
@King Dong Bundy: I found this tidbit;
“On the one hand, he is a proven champion. On the other hand, he got shot by a pair of sweatpants.” Jets fan on the signing of Plaxico Burress. (Onion)
@Althea; I think you are getting the hang of it already.
One witness said they saw Catherine Kieu Becker running from the scene…..
I’m going to take the opposite approach as the police and encourage the people of Arizona to continue using their waistbands. Given long enough, this problem may actually take care of itself.
It’s good to see Plaxico Burress is having a positive effect on gun safety as far away as AZ.