I actually kinda felt bad for George Lopez when I heard that TBS was canceling “Lopez Tonight.” Then I watched some of his final monologue, and I didn’t really feel so bad any more. There’s two minutes of applause followed by a joke about Obama’s racial heritage followed by four minutes of stuff I didn’t watch. Apparently he does a fair amount of swearing here, which, to be fair, is probably what I’d do if it were my last night on television, too. I wouldn’t want to rely on the standard 4-letter words, though. I’d just work phrases like “finger blast moist holes” and “five-gallon semen jug” into the monologue. I think that would be a lot more rewarding. More memorable, too. Once you’ve pictured five gallons of semen in your head, you’re not likely to forget it.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/226/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/02/conan-tomb-raider-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/02/conan-halo-4-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/12/tumblr_lhiotludFG1qcuhr9o1_500-150x150.gif)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/11/conan-hitman-absolution-150x150.jpg)
A “five gallon jug of semen” joke seems particularly appropriate following the Padma post.
“five-gallon semen jug.” Add another name to fantasy football team name list.
as a mexican I’m genetically predisposed to like George Lopez and pour my beer on gringos at soccer matches, so all I can say is MasPuto TBS!
I think you meant “two minutes of applause followed by several horribly unfunny non-jokes about Obama’s racial heritage…”
which is to say, I gave it a chance, and I’m glad it was the first and last time.
“five gallon jug of semen”
Actually, that Rod Stewart story is just an urban legend.
I had the same exact reaction towards George. I felt bad when I heard he was cancelled because there are no Mexicans on American television. They just don’t exist in the minds of the most creative people in the America, tv writers.
But then I heard his monologues this past week and was in awe of his suckage.
White people talk like this “You’re cancelled”
-George Lopez
with such memorable characters as “creepy white girl”, I’m amazed this show didnt catch on with mainstream america.
yo dude — you’re not allowed to post shit to your own blog and say — “meh, i didn’t watch that last 4 minutes.” Just like you can’t forward an email saying “hey, i didn’t watch this cause i don’t find it interesting at all, but maybe you will.”
I wonder if he got $55 million to leave and will go on a hilarious tour and ripping the guy who replaced him. Why don’t people care about that? Well because George Lopez sucks.
And because Conan actually extended Lopez’s stay. Without Conan, Lopez would’ve been canceled last year.