I guess I’ll start with the murder case because it’s the most important and because it’s the one Franklin and Bash are assigned to because they pawn the Danny Trejo is a secret luchador case off on sexy lawyer from “The Jamie Foxx Show.” So that hot lady in the business suit from earlier is named Brett or something which is cool because chicks with boys’ names are hot but not as hot as chicks with names like Mallory or Brooke because chicks with those names are always hot. Where was I? Oh yeah, that lady named Brett is all “I am in charge here and you have to run everything by me Franklin and Bash and play by MY rules not your own rules” and I was like “Yeah right like that’s gonna happen, Brosephina.”
ANYWAY, Franklin and Bash meet with old bro and old bro is like “Well I told the police a long time ago that this guy got lost on a mountain we were climbing or whatever but really I stabbed him but it was pretty much self-defense because he was being a dick and I only lied to police because he was my friend and I didn’t want everyone to remember him for how he was being a dick and made me stab him” and Franklin and Bash were all “Yeah that seems reasonable we got this.”
So Franklin and Bash go to court and Franklin’s all “The DA is going to try to prove to you that old bro killed this other bro and GUESS WHAT HE TOTALLY DID” then everyone was like “WHAT” and Franklin’s all “Yeah ok but if he didn’t then lots of other people would have died and some people’s grandkids would have been sad or whatever” which is a good start but then the DA calls a witness who’s a cop and the cop says “Yeah but old dude got his ASS WHUPPED by dead bro the night before he killed him and was saying he was gonna kill him or something” and the DA was like “OH REALLY I guess he did then.” Then Franklin and Bash asked old dude about how he got beat up old dude was like “I dunno bros I was totes wasted because I am from England and I know how to party” and then we later find out that old dude also emptied out dead bro’s offshore bank account three days after he died but it’s ok because he just gave it to charity or something.
Then some other stuff happens but I wasn’t paying a lot of attention because my bro Troy was all “Let’s go to 50 cent draft night” but I was like “Bro I am trying to watch this show so I can write that recap tomorrow” and Troy was like “Whatever pussy” and I was all “Dude you’re just mad because I write on the Internet and and you don’t and your girlfriend gave Connor a handy at alumni day” and then Troy got all mad and left and when I went back to the show Franklin and Bash had pretty much called a corpse as a witness so I missed EVERYTHING but it ended with old dude winning and the dead guys head falling off and Bash fainting.
Oh and also at one point Franklin was like “Let’s take the jury on a field trip to the morgue” and the DA was all “Do you have permission slips from your mom?” and Franklin was like “We got one from YOUR mom” and Bash goes “Last night” which was SERIOUS LOLs, bros.
I want more like this!
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