Mr. Burns, “The Simpsons”
Imagine a world where “The Simpsons” was great again. Like, season five great. It’s probably impossible, even for a single episode, but one can dream. What’s one way the show could try to reclaim its past glories? Kill off a beloved character. Fans of the show have seen enough one-time or minor characters kick the bucket over the years, and while the episodes are usually high-quality (“Homer’s Enemy,” “’Round Springfield,” “The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show,” even “Alone Again, Natura-Diddily”), that doesn’t mean “Simpsons” enthusiasts want another hardly-seen Springfield resident to disappear. Go for one of the big guys, someone like Mr. Burns. His tyranny hasn’t been funny for seasons, and not only would this allow another villain to step in, his death could also shut down the power plant, leading Homer, Lenny, and Carl to get different full-time jobs. (While we’re at it, can Homer not have any more single-episode-only jobs? Remember Homer as a Mexican wrestler? Me neither.)
Jason Stackhouse, “True Blood”
I like Jason. A lot. His season one arc—hooking up with Lizzy Caplan and killing Stephen Root—remains one of my favorites on the show. But he hasn’t felt necessary to “True Blood” since season two, when he was dealing with the Fellowship of the Sun. Because he and Sookie share so little time together on-screen, it’s easy to forget that they’re brother and sister. His death would accomplish two things: 1) Bring all of Bon Temps, including Sam, Jessica, and LaFayette, together, which hasn’t happened in forever, and 2) Put an end to the terrible Hotshot plot. I don’t think many viewers are overly invested in whether he becomes a werepanther or not.
Shane Walsh, “The Walking Dead”
If you haven’t read the comics and don’t want to be spoiled, DO NOT READ! SPOILERS! ETC.!
Okay, now that it’s just us Kirkman Kronies, let me say: doesn’t it suck that the TV series isn’t going to feature the Governor this season, maybe never? Anyways. Shane doesn’t last very long in the books, having been gunned down by Rick’s son, Carl, and not killing him was the biggest mistake the TV show made in season one. Shane isn’t a likable character (remember that time he tried to rape Lori? OH, THAT SHANE), and his death should have already occurred before the walking living arrived at the CDC. Shane’s only impact on the plot is that he gets Lori pregnant, which could have been revealed by now (it maybe was, when Dr. Jenner whispered something in Rick’s ear in the finale). Just get rid of Shane as quickly as possible, and be done with his character’s plot-dragging dead weight.
Ava Crowder, “Justified”
In an otherwise all-time excellent season of “Justified,” Ava Crowder felt a little lost in the shuffle. Honestly, even though it’s only been three months since the finale “Bloody Harlan” aired, I had forgotten that Ava had been shot in the gut by Dickie, and we’re not sure whether she’s dead or alive. Ava was a great character in season one, as one-third of a love triangle with Raylan and Winona, but she slogged through most of season two as Boyd’s kind-of girlfriend, knowing as much about what he was up to as we did (which is to say: nothing). Boyd works best when he’s by himself, not getting dragged down by Nazis and love partners, and Raylan has a pregnant Winona and her thieving ways to deal with. Where does that leave Ava? Not in Harlan.
I want more like this!
Follow us on Facebook and get the latest before everyone else.