I have a confession to make: I am obsessed with stupid criminals. They’re like my favorite thing ever. You’ve all heard the stories — some bank robber wrote the threatening note on the back of a check with his address on the front, someone stopped for gas a mile from the robbery and was immediately caught, two guys handcuffed together foil their own escape by running into a light pole, etc. Well everyone hold your horses because HOLY CRAP this guy tried to rob a store dressed as Gumby. Yeah. I KNOW.
I’ve posted the video after the jump, and you should really check it out if only for the sheer ridiculousness of the whole thing, but the quick version is that this guy (and there is a 1 million percent chance it was a guy) walked in with his sidekick, told the clerk it was a robbery, and when the clerk justifiably laughed at him, reached for his pocket as though he had a weapon. Unfortunately for him, giant foam suits are fairly restrictive, so in the process of reaching for what may have been a weapon, he instead dropped 26 cents from his pocket on the floor. Then he left. Dressed as Gumby. After not only not robbing the store, but also leaving his own money behind. He’s like Dillinger if Dillinger was an incompetent plushie.
Look, I’m generally anti-armed robbery. But I swear to God if this leads to bunch of copycat crimes where dipsh-t brosephs dress up as goofy cartoon characters and fumble their way through failed robberies, I am in. All the way in. Hell, I may rent a helicopter and try to rob an art gallery as Launchpad McQuack. Carpe diem, right?