Hello, and welcome to a watershed day in television history. TNT has ordered a pilot about a CRIME-SOLVING GOLDEN RETRIEVER. I've been waiting for this day my entire life.
The network has ordered a pilot for an adaptation of the Susannah Charleson book “Scent of the Missing,” about her experience with Puzzle, a dog with a strong aptitude for rescue missions. The pilot’s log line says of the show, “An adrenaline junkie leader of a canine search-and-rescue team assists various law enforcement agencies with her best friend and partner, a golden retriever.” [The Wrap]
Finally, a worthy successor to "Poochinski"! And TNT is the absolute PERFECT home for this show. Because 95% of TNT's programming is cop procedurals, it's awash in all the tired stereotypes that bore me on most shows but would enthrall me if the show's about a dog.
HARDBITTEN DETECTIVE interrogates a suspect. PUZZLE paces in the background, pausing occasionally to lick his balls.
HARDBITTEN DETECTIVE: Tell me where McNally is! Trust me, I'm the nice one. My partner ain't gonna be so gentle.
PUZZLE: *growls*
SUSPECT: Screw you, pig!
HARDBITTEN DETECTIVE: Well, I warned ya. Puzzle! This guy won't talk.
PUZZLE: *bites SUSPECT in crotch*
SUSPECT: Oh God! I'll talk, I'll talk!
HARDBITTEN DETECTIVE: Good boy! *gives PUZZLE treat*
In short, I'll be devastated if this doesn't become a long-running series. Here, I'll get the casting process started:
(Just because.)
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At what point can we expect a cameo from Puzzle’s superstar-athlete cousin, Air Bud?
Barksky & Hutch?
The consensus on Twitter is “Paw & Order.”
If this show became a regular series, it would be like the Warming Glow Apocalypse. There simply wouldn’t be anything left to right about on television. Matt would just convert the whole site into a Puzzle fan site.
Oh and Bloodhounds > Corgis > Golden Retrievers
Looks like crime better look out for
*removes sunglasses*
The long arf of the law.
A-WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*
*Dog howling
I thought they already produce a show about a crime solving dog. Risoli and Isles. Boosh!
/looks at Angie Harmon
/goes back into hole
Remember Lassie? Lassie was smart, wasn’t he? They used to talk to Lassie like he was a person. “Hey Lassie! Hey girl, hows your mom? I love you Lassie! Call me in an hour, Lassie!” I saw one episode where Grampa drove ‘em somewhere and had a heart attack. Lassie drove him to a hospital, and made a left turn. I said GOD DAMN, Lassie. This is a smart fucking dog. Lassie got dogs killed. I had this mixed ghetto dog, and I must have hit that dog in the head with a hammer. I said, motherfucker, if Lassie can do it, you gon’ do it. I said you better talk back or Ima give you to the Vietnamese family. I bet they’ll make your ass talk, you’ll be hollering for help.
Also, bloodhounds are cool and all, but they’re like the saggy nutsack of the dog world. Its all about the corgis, cuzin!
Coming soon to Warming Glow, me writing 1500-word recaps of this show in character as a golden retriever!
I have news for you La Schmoove. All nut sacks are ugly.
If there isn’t at least one dog named Bark Moreland, I’m going to start firebombing
My balls are smooth as eggs.
Criminals everywhere will no longer be able to blame farts on their dogs.
Another example of an executive failing to ask: “Do you really see this concept being interesting past episode one?”
I hope this doesn’t make me resent my Golden for not contributing financially to the family.
@Danger if that doesn’t happen… well, I’ll be sad I guess. Just please make it happen.
Why don’t they just bring back “Poochinski”?
Ted Turner & Hooch? That doesn’t make a ton of sense but this made me think of Turner & Hooch.
I’d also watch HBO present:
“From the producers of THE PACIFIC and BAND OF BROTHERS comes the harrowing 12-part story of the world’s unsung heroes…the heroes of…DOG FORT”
So is the human co-star going to be a no-nonsense single blonde who looks striking in a pants suit and wears very little makeup but not in a butch way who has a love-hate relationship with an annoying ex and a close male detective friend with whom she has sexual chemistry that she doesn’t act upon because he’s with a girl who’s obviously not right for him and also has a quirky possibly alcoholic mother/father who offers comic relief and sage advice. Oh, and of course, token sassy female friend.