You guys are never going to believe this, but a lot of people who appear on television for a living put on nice clothes to go to the Emmys last night. I'll let you get to clicking through the pictures in a moment, but here's a general overlook:
- Before you ask: yes, there are pictures of Christina Hendricks's mountainous cleavage.
- There will be absolutely no discussion of the cleavage displayed by Ariel Winter (Alex on "Modern Family"). She's 13. If I'm gonna get arrested for something like that, it'll be for Chloe Moretz.
- Because I am occasionally not a total chauvinist pervert, I have included pictures of handsome male actors. Props to my lady readers.
- As I log more and more years in the blogging game, I'm less enamored with the "This beautiful actress is ugly" thing that bloggers and commenters like to do. They're famous actors; I would happily have sex with any of them. Even Melissa McCarthy. Even Peter Dinklage. Even -- and this will gross some people out -- Gwyneth Paltrow.
All right. Get to clickin'. Those pageviews feed me.
So Minka Kelly has a body like this, and then wears something that covers it all up? Screw you Minka Kelly. Go take some classes from Julie Bowen.
Now that's what I'm talkin' about!
I of course love Sofia Vergara, but listening to her talk, I realized something last night: if she were any less hot, she'd be the Colombian Fran Drescher.
Oh man. Paz, what a disaster. The lipstick makes me think that she's trying to look like a hooker that's been strangled to death, which, now that I think about it, is actually pretty hot. Well done!
She purdy.
She's the Madonna of acting, minus that part of my life where I masturbated to her.
MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT.
MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT.
Seriously, Don Draper and Raylan Givens? I'd sell a child into slavery to be in this picture.
PIMP.
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One of the funniest moments of the evening was seeing that Katie Holmes really does talk out of the side of her head. And thanks for the Raylan/Draper Maaaake Oooout.
Also, new Charlie’s Angels, “Maaaake Oooout!” Seriously hot reverse Oreo sandwich right there.
That Peter Dinklage picture is begging for a “Hater’s gonna hate” caption.
Timothy Olyphant rocking the uncanny valley look there. There’s a fine line between handsome and creepy. That’s what I tell myself anyway.
Oh Timothy Olyphant has already grey hair? “Looks up his age”
43! Are you fucking kidding me? Does he bath in virgin blood or something?
you forgot to post Cobie Smulders
I used to think Evan Rachel Wood was hot. Then I found out she’s had Marilyn Manson’s penis inside her (likely in multiple orifices)*, and her hotness went waaaaaay down.
*Yeah, sorry for the mental image.
I had no idea who Nina Dobrev was before I started following Bohemea and Suicide Blonde on Tumblr. Now I want her kept in a gallery behind six inches of bulletproof glass like a cross between the Pope and the Mona Lisa.
I just got to Olyphant. I swooned.
Paz de la Huerta: Damn Girl!…Julie Bowen = smokin hot, Sofia Vergara = pinnacle of hotness then POW! Sazam! Paz de la Huerta = succubus.
Also, in the most non-gay way possible, DAMN #17, those are some handsome men
Also, thank you for no Ariel Winter cleavage pics…uncomfortable
What happened to Paz De La Huerta’s face? She looks like a struck match.
Someone should’ve told her it wasnt a costume party and that blackface is frowned upon outside of the Mad Men set.
Okay, who photoshopped Julie Bowen’s ribs out of that photo? Did you see her during the broadcast? Seriously, someone needs to force-feed her a cheeseburger. But kudos to her for keeping the boobs. Nice work, Julie.
@Watanabex: you forgot to leave a worthwhile comment.
@AnthonyTX, I believe in second chances. Therefore, she is still hot, even hotter now that she isn’t with that fucking turd.
And yes, Paz has looked better.
I think it’s sweet the way they let people from The CW be part of the broadcast.
There may or may not still be a poster of Rob Lowe on the wall in my childhood bedroom circa Oxford Blues. He has aged really, really well.
I love that Jon Hamm often looks like a goofy fanboy. Like he’s thinking “oh sweet! I’m taking a picture with Timothy Olyphant!”
Paz’s make-up looks terrible, she is two-toned. Martha Plimpton should have been included for her dress alone, it was amazing.
Needs more Connie Britton. Major boner for Mrs. Coach. Hate that she’s now going to be completely squandered on a Ryan Murphy show.
Finding out Chloe Moretz’s age was even more creepy than Let Me In.
In fairness, I saw Let Me In before Kick-Ass.
Does anyone know what Julie Bowen is charging to rent space on her chest?
Is it bad that my workout goal is to be as ripped as Julie Bowen someday? I’m a 33 year old man.
Just because a beautiful actress is quite the useless dick-head (Gwyneth Paltrow) does NOT mean I won’t pretend my right hand is a vital part of her body……
And Ian Somelder won the award of “Who the heck is this guy?” from me and my wife. We concluded he was on the CW, probably on some show about vampires, but that was after about 15 minutes of me trying to convince her he was NOT Superman.
Paz de la Huerta’s makeup would look over the top on The Walking Dead.
I heard Paz de la Huerta is taking over the role of Murtaugh when the gang makes “Lethal Weapon 6″
+1, Otto Man.
Paltrow’s not necessarily ugly, she’s just a vapid cunt is all.
When I clicked on the picture of Paz de la Huerta, my Spotify account automatically started playing “My Old Kentucky Home.”
@ Otto – I realized yesterday that I spend too much time here & at KSK. When I saw the Chiefs score, I thought, “Oh, poor Otto.” Then I thought, “Ummm…you don’t actually know him.” This was immediately followed by…”Raiders to win the AFC West. Woo hoo.”
The fact that nobody from Always Sunny won anything from the comedy categories makes everything that happened irrelevant. Having said that, Nina Dobrev looked almost as good as Paz did bad. They need to give BWE the Emmy for CGI
When I say a celebrity isn’t hot, I mean they’re not “celebrity-hot”. Like, I don’t think Christina Hendricks is anything special on TV, but obviously if I saw her in person, I’d trip over my tongue.
That said, Paz De La Huerta looks like Nacho Libre’s partner.
@Upstate – What turd? Julie Bowen is now divorced?
As for Paz, told you so. I wouldn’t touch her with a barge pole, famous or not. Nor Elisabeth Moss.
I would still have sex with the Paz in that picture. She looks nuts…and horny. And horny for nuts.
I’m down for a Vergara-Hendricks three way, anyone else?
I wouldn’t want Paz to have hurt feelings, so I’ll be happy to sex her up.
God damn Timothy Olyphant is awesome. He seriously does look like he wants to shoot someone though.
And I don’t know who Nina Dobrev is, but I have a long and satisfying night of google image search ahead of me.
First thought upon seeing Nina Dobrev: “Gosh, J-Woww might have an eating disorder. Wait a second, has Emmanualle Chriqui somehow gotten flatter? What th- WHAT ARE YOUUUUUUU” *Googles ‘Nina Dobrev,’ feels old*
Also, I watched “Drive” last night and now the phrase “Christina Hendricks Facial” just ain’t what it used to be
@Smega, I was talking about Evan Rachel Wood
I’ve always thought Paz de la Huerta was a bit weird looking, but those photos really make her look bizarre (and not in the fun way). The pictures of Christina Hendricks made me motor boat my computer screen. The English professor across the hall from me closed his door. I think I frighten him.
what the fuck is number 9?????
If only I could miniaturize myself and reside in Christina Hendricks’s bosom…
At first I thought Paz was either a reanimated Amy Winehouse or a dude trying to be controversial. Echo what somebody else said, Nina Dobrev could be Emmanuelle Chriqui’s sister.
Sofia Vergara has a 21 year old son. In college. I imagine on parents day he is the most popular kid on campus.
Peter Dinkage no wonder he`s a midget…that guy is ugly
Rashida Jones!?!