“Last Man Standing” (ABC, October 11, 8 p.m.)
Plot: To quote Wikipedia, “Comedy about a man who lives in a world dominated by women.” In other words, “Last Man Standing” is fill-in-the-blank TV. (See also: “Man Up!” on ABC.)
Is It for You? A “comedy about a man who lives in a world dominated by women.” That’s the most generic-sounding premise for a show ever, and I can’t believe I didn’t think of it. Because I’m guessing all it took was this:
ABC Executive #1: “We need a famous male star, someone who we’ll pay $225,000 per episode.”
ABC Executive #2: “What about that guy who made funny noises for us in the 1990s?”
ABC Executive #1: “Dave Coulier?”
ABC Executive #2: “No, the other white guy.”
ABC Executive #1: “Tim Allen?”
ABC Executive #2: “Yeah, that’s the one. Let’s put him into a sitcom, preferably one with a pun for a title, and have it be about how men are all like this…
/flushes toilet placed in the meeting room
“…and women are like this.”
/closes toilet lid in the meeting room
*Laugh track inexplicably plays, followed by a distracting wipe to another scene*
Drinking Game Idea: Pour out a 40 for Jonathan Taylor Thomas, wherever he is.
“Grimm” (NBC, October 21, 9 p.m.)
Plot: Dave Giuntoli plays Nick Burkhardt, a detective who discovers he descends from the Grimm family line, meaning he has to protect the world from evil fairy tale characters.
Is It for You? For the past two years, “Dateline NBC” has aired on Friday nights at 9 p.m., the timeslot that now belongs to “Grimm.” Before that, it was “America’s Toughest Jobs,” “Crusoe,” and “Lipstick Jungle.” Friday at 9 p.m. is where TV goes to die, and with a few notable exceptions (“Friday Night Lights” and “Fringe”), it’s where networks put their worst programming. With all apologies to the show’s co-creator David Greenwalt, who also co-helmed “Angel,” “Grimm” looks like another forgettable entry in the current “public domain, so why not?” dark fairy tale craze. (See also: ABC’s execrable “Once Upon a Time,” set in Storybrooke, Maine. Seriously.)
Drinking Game Idea: Take a shot every time of the seven dwarves is revealed.
“Beavis and Butt-Head” (MTV, October 27, 10 p.m.)
Plot: Do I really have to explain? (But now with cracks about “Jersey Shore”!)
Is It for You? You already know the answer to this, so I’m just going to mention my favorite B&B moment: the boys are watching the music video for Pavement’s “Cut Your Hair,” and one of them said, “These guys just aren’t trying very hard.”
Drinking Game: Drink every time Beavis or Butt-head comments on MTV’s lack of playing music videos.
“Allen Gregory” (Fox, October 30, 8:30 p.m.)
Plot: An intelligent seven-year-old boy (voiced by Jonah Hill, who also co-created the show) is made to attend regular ol’ public school by his two gay dads.
Is It For You? Over the weekend, I was watching the Celebrity Jeopardy “SNL” skit with Jimmy Fallon as French Stewart, and I wondered what had happened with the former-Harry Solomon. Turns out, he’s voicing Allen’s father on this show. Good for him. Anyways, if this show dies, that means another Seth MacFarlane production will rise from its ashes. (The showrunner for “Allen” is a former-”Family Guy” executive producer David A. Goodman, but don’t worry, he also wrote “Where No Fan Has Gone Before,” arguably the best episode of “Futurama.”) That’s reason enough.
Drinking Game Idea: Take a shot every time you think of “Napoleon Dynamite,” coming to Fox this winter.
“Hell on Wheels” (AMC, November 6, 10 p.m.)
Plot: Confederate soldier Cullen Bohannon (Anson Mount) hates Union soldiers, as Confederates often do, because they killed his wife. So he heads west across America to avenge her death, towards the Transcontinental Railroad and the towns and work camps that would pop up near it.
Is It for You? Yes. Any time AMC debuts a new show, you should watch AT LEAST the first five episodes before deciding whether it’s worth continuing on. (That’s approximately how long I lasted before giving up on “Rubicon” and right around the time “The Killing” began spinning in place).
Drinking Game Idea: Take a drink every time someone says, “Injun.” Drink every time “Yankee” is used as an epithet. Drink every time someone says “Negro.” This show’s going to be awesome.
“I Hate My Teenage Daughter” (Fox, November 23, 9:30 p.m.)
Plot: I mean, really?
Is It for You? Don’t let the quality cast, including Jaime Pressly (“My Name is Earl”), Katie Finneran (“Wonderfalls”), and Chad Coleman (Cutty from “The Wire”!), distract you from the fact that “I Hate My Teenage Daughter” is called “I Hate My Teenage Daughter.” I know a show can be better than its title, like “Cougar Town,” but “Teenage Daughter” has Cutty making a Tiger Woods joke, on top of a premise about two moms trying to impress their brat daughters. “I Hate My Teenage Daughter” actually sounds worse than its title implies.
Drinking Game Idea: Take a shot every time you see an awkwardly-placed promo for this show on Fox during NFL games in November.
I want more like this!
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