September 11, 2011 will be a day of mourning. Not only will we remember those who lost their lives ten years ago in the attacks on the World Trade Center buildings and those aboard United Airlines flights 77 and 93; we must also come to terms with the fact that there will never be another new episode of “Entourage.”
Here’s what the boys are up to, as of last week’s penultimate episode: Sloan told Eric she’s pregnant with his seed, and that she’s moving to New York and doesn’t want anything from him; Ari is dating a studio executive, but he’s still in love with his ex-wife; Johnny is trying to star in a made-for-TV movie; Turtle is hanging out with A-Rod and becomes a millionaire thanks to Avión; and Vince is in love with Vanity Fair reporter Sophia (Alice Eve), and he asks the guys to make a video compilation of all his old girlfriends telling Sophia how wonderful he is, and presumably lie about how big his dick is.
So really, the message of “Entourage” is: VINCE IS GOD, GOD OF SEX.
That’s an opinion more or less stated in the show’s theme song, “Superhero” by Jane’s Addiction, the only group of people more self-obsessed than Vince & Co. It will be played in the final episode of “Entourage,” just as it has the 95 before it—but what about the all-important final scene, when the gang is inevitably on a hill overlooking Los Angeles? The “Don’t Stop Believin’” scene, as it were. On the next page, I’ve listed five songs that “Entourage” could use (no, thank YOU, Doug Ellin), and please list your choices in the comments section.
9/11/2001=Never Forget, Bro