Still the best picture of Nick Cannon.
Minute to Win It/America’s Got Talent (NBC) – NBC putting Guy Fieri and Nick Cannon back-to-back in primetime might be the most aggressive pro-reading initiative this country has ever seen.
Top Chef: Just Desserts (Bravo) – The remaining contestants prepare desserts to be served at a party thrown by “Real Housewife” Lisa Vanderpump. Okay, two things: 1) Because when I think “real housewife,” I think of elaborate parties featuring gourmet desserts that will be judged by a collection of models and celebrity chefs. Ugh. Go jump in a lake, Bravo. 2) If you had asked me 10 minutes ago what a “Lisa Vanderpump” was, I would have guessed it was some sort of shoddy sexual aid sold via infomercial.
American Greed: 9/11 Fraud (CNBC) – Our own Josh Kurp touched on this last week. You know, under certain circumstances, I think I could make a pretty decent argument that “non-stop cockpunches” shouldn’t be considered cruel and unusual punishment. This would be one such example.
Animal Hoarders (Animal Planet) – Some lady keeps her dead cats in the freezer. Let that sentence marinate for a little. Really try to wrap your head around it. Okay, now all together, “Yeeeesh.”
Rescue Me (FX) – Series finale. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything with Denis Leary in it other than The Sandlot. Maybe FX can just air that every week in the hole in the schedule left by this show. That would be awesome.
New Jack City (VH1) – I will give any of you $1,000 if you can explain to me (to my satisfaction) what New Jack City is doing on VH1. Go ahead. I’ll wait.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Elijah Wood on Kimmel; Medal of Honor recipient Sgt. 1st Class Leroy Petry and Sarah Jessica Parker on Letterman; James Marsden and Wolfgang Puck on Ferguson (discussion topic: Do you think Wolfgang Puck would be so famous if his name was Dave Puck? I vote no. The lesson: give your kids awesome names like Wolfgang or Trampoline or something); Kristin Chenoweth and Chris Colfer on Leno; Marion Cotillard and Nick Swardson on Fallon; Don Johnson and Busy Phillips on Conan.
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New “Deadliest Warrior” tonight on Spike TV. Very cool show. Weapons and history lessons combined in one show.
No love for the series finale of Rescue Me????
“I will give any of you $1,000 if you can explain to me (to my satisfaction) what New Jack City is doing on VH1. Go ahead. I’ll wait.”
Um… Ice-T? /searches brain
Yeah, I got nothin’.
VH1 is airing New Jack City because Ice-T represents their core demographic of…. never mind. I got nothing.
Even Andy Bernard thinks Nick Cannon’s outfit is silly.
New Jack is on VH1 because it’s a movie about a time when VH1 was relevant – during the rise of crack.
@ essequemodeia – Whoops, updated. I had to slap this together pretty quick because things got crazy hectic over here.
VH1 is airing New Jack City as a backdoor pilot to their wednesday night lineup. Ice loves Coco at 8, Always Bet on Black at 9 staring a post-prison Wesley Snipes and a Pre-Suicide Mario Van Peebles at 9 as they attempt career resurgences. And finally Shut Up Honkey at 10 where Chris Rock spends an hour every week berating Judd Nelson “fo bein’ a honkey”
New Jack City is on VH1 for the same reason Ice Cube has shows on TBS…unfortunately I do not know this reason.
I too would watch The Sandlot every week. What an excellent idea, Danger. I have images of a DG channel that would continually air reruns of SBTB & The OC broken up by The Sandlot and episodes of Terriers.
Once upon a time Wednesday was T-t-t-t-t-terriers night…waaaaaaaa
@ Smello – And like 3-4 hours of cooking shows. But, yeah. That sounds glorious.
People who don’t like The Sandlot have no soul. Fact.
My wife’s pregnant with a boy, and my 4 yr old son wants to name him Slingshot. We’ve adopted the name for now.
1. Name son Slingshot.
2. ???
3. Profit!
A good idea from Ricky Gervais’s blog, hope he’s serious:
“A live 3 hour podcast during The Golden Globes. Me and a few chums (like Louis CK, Chris Rock, Karl Pilkington, John Stewart, Larry David popping in and out) doing our own alternative commentary.
People at home can have the telly on with the sound down listening to us online say things that no broadcaster could get away with.
No one could do a fucking thing.
The biggest live webcast ever? Who knows? Who cares? What’s fun is the shit we might come out with. No money. No sponsor. No guide lines. Fuck me I can’t wait.”
New Jack City is on VH1 because of its influences as hip hop’s seminal film. It was the first commercially successful movie to have a rapper as its star, and had an incredibly successful soundtrack. The album “New Jack City” was built as a mash up of a style of jazz called new jack swing, and of hip hop modern to the era. The album peaked at #2 on Billboard.
In short, New Jack City was made to have it’s music be very important to the themes presented within the confines of the film, which it absolutely succeeded in doing. That’s probably why its on VH1.
New Jack City is on VH1 because they own the rights to nostalgic crap from the 90′s.
(Leary was good in “Wag the Dog”–which may be the only thing I’ve ever seen him in. Good flick.)
Dennis Leary was in Demolition Man.
You’ve all seen Demolition Man.
Hmmm. A Dance with Dragons is looking pretty good.
DG, you’ve never seen “The Ref?” Granted, the ending would have been better if Leary had stabbed Kevin Spacey in the eye, but it’s still good as is.
My sister’s name is Trampoline. Actually it’s really more of a nickname. Yeah, she’s kind of a whore.
A New Jack Whore … on VH1.
Leary was in the short-lived show “The Job” which was pretty good. A number of the same people were in it. Same style of humor without all the over-wrought drama.
Don Johnson is alive? Shit, I just lost a bet.
New Jack City is on VH1 because the entire soundtrack (and even the name of the movie) revolves around the amazingly shitty new jack swing R&B/Hip Hop style of the late 80′s and early 90′s. The soundtrack was #1 on the R&B/Hip Hop charts for months, and brought the world such shitty music talents as Guy, LeVert, Johnny Gill, Keith Sweat, and Color Me Badd. And like adavis mentioned, it was probably the first commercially successful movie starring a rapper, which begat such shit-tastic movies as “Are We There Yet?” and “Are We Done Yet?”
Or maybe they just want VH1 viewers to shoot each other, which happened a lot at New Jack City theater showings back in ’91.
Dennis Leary laid down on top of a naked Liz Hurley for some movie……
….that alone is worthy of immortality….
New Jack City is on VH1 because it serves at the pleasure of the prime minister of VH1. It’s a fuckin’ conspiracy, maaaan.
New Jack Swing? Ice-T? The soundtrack?
I don’t know what I expected for the last Rescue Me. I’m more satisfied than other final shows, I guess. It was as reverent as satisfying irreverence gets. I’m somehow happy it wasn’t more about 9-11.
@”It was the first commercially successful movie to have a rapper as its star”
Nobody remembers House Party? Kid n Play? Full Force? Yeah, me neither…
But Robin Harris was the Original Bernie Mac (including the early check-out)
Because the decision-makers at VH1 love crack
Two words: Ash Vortex.
New Jack City on VH1 makes more sense than Batman Returns on CMT.
DG, I know you mentioned that on Twitter, but I thought the same thing.
New Jack City was on VH1 because the man who saved their network, Flavor Flav, has a cameo when Nino Brown walks into the club. Flav shouts out “my boyyyy, Ninooooooooooo”
Sung to the tune of “Satisfaction” by the Rolling Stones
When I’m watchin’ VH1 on my T.V.
And Wesley Snipes comes on to tell me
How cheap those rocks can be
But he can’t be a man ’cause he doesn’t smoke
The same crack as me
I can’t get no, oh no, no, no
Hey hey hey, that’s what I say
I can’t get no satisfaction