YES: Gary Busey and Ted Haggard to do Celebrity ‘Wife Swap’

Ted Haggard is the evangelical preacher whose career got upended when it turned out he paid for gay sex and crystal meth; Gary Busey is an imbalanced psychopath who will pull your endocrine system out of your body and put it in his briefcase with all the highlighters and loose change. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the GREATEST WIFE SWAP IN HISTORY.

Ted Haggard is going on the celebrity edition of ABC’s Wife Swap reality show … and will swap partners with Gary Busey. Haggard still has a wife—despite the fact that he admitted paying for meth-fueled sex with a male masseuse in 2006. The probably-bisexual pastor now runs a nondenominational church in Colorado, and Busey is apparently a good match for him: The born-again actor is involved with Christian men’s organization Promise Keepers.

However, Busey bizarrely has no wife, just a girlfriend with whom he has a child. Producers haven’t said whether she’s the swapee or not, People notes, but the Colorado Springs Gazette reports that she is. [Newser]

The reason Busey is still unmarried is because America’s puritanical laws keep him from marrying his one true love, a badger named Candace. They argue a lot, but the sex is incredible.