We are sinners in the hands of an angry God. That’s the only possible explanation why Fred Durst will star in a CBS sitcom. The God of the Old Testament is furious at all the sodomites and heretics, and so he has sent us a Durst sitcom to purge the earth of laughter.
The untitled comedy, sometimes referred to as Douchebag, has received a script commitment. It centers around a rock legend looking for balance between his high profile lifestyle and trying to raise a family. [Deadline]
This is all happening thanks to the connections of Durst’s manager, John Schneider, who most recently helped his brother Rob get a sitcom at CBS with almost the exact same premise. CBS: where famous person X has a wacky home life raising a family!
Meanwhile, over on little-watched NBC, “Community” just aired — and I’m not using hyperbole here — one of the best episodes of comedic television I’ve ever seen. Using little more than a six-sided die and a Raiders of the Lost Ark diorama, it told the same story in seven different realities, and with it pulled off seven variants of a joke about having sex with Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom. Yet millions and millions more people will watch a Fred Durst sitcom on CBS. No wonder God is angry.
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As it stars Fred Durst, instead of the title ‘Douchebag’, shouldn’t it be ‘Untalented Cunt’?
Listen, I enjoy a good anecdote about forcibly sodomizing a groupie as much as the next guy, but I just don’t see how that translates into CBS’s brand of family-friendly entertainment.
@Matt, that’s not hyperbole, that’s an understatement.
I don’t hate Fred Durst, but I’m baffled by the idea that he was able to (allegedly) have sex with Halle Berry.
That Community episode was the shit. This show is shit.
ROXXXanne!
The reality involving arterial blood spray was amazing.
This further proves my theory that the majority of network programming is decided by a trailer park community in suburban Jacksonville, FL.
Speaking of Community… just wow. When Troy gets the Pizza…
RoXXXanne!
Don’t.
Fred Durst sitcom. Also don’t.
Rapidly becoming a loyal member of Team Britta. There’s something about a skinny, pot-smoking blonde with perky tits and big eyes that speaks to me. Mostly in my groin area.
Given the naming conventions of network tv shows, I assume this is going to be called How I Met Your Mother: Meth House
“When Troy gets the Pizza” really just needs to be a new catch-all singular phrase for any and all phenomenal TV moments going forward.
Also, the timeline when Troy went to get the pizza was the tits.
I’ve seen Fred Durst’s penis. It’s gross.
Are we going to get any Community animated gifs? I want one of the troll in the fire so badly.
Nothing like a Fred Durst sitcom to get my eyes ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN WHAT
You are 100% wrong, Matt. There is no God.
Britta’s pizza dance was a little off-putting, no?
Speaking of Fred Durst, I once stuck it in Eartha Kitt’s chocolate starfish in an airplane bathroom…
/It came up organically!
I had an old fitted Cardinals hat that I wore backwards because the New Line hats look weird on me. I loved that hat, but I stopped wearing it when this cock nugget showed up.
(Posted in wrong thread like an idiot)
Small quibble with last night’s Community: Modern double-action revolvers are HIGHLY unlikely to just go off when jostled.
Larger quibble: So are they going for “Jeff is the source of everyone’s misery” because it seems like Jeff is held to an unfairly high standard compared to the rest of the denizens of Greendale.
How does this guy still have a career? This NO TALENT hit the biggest lottery ever in the late 90′s by yelling/ nasal yodelling in front of 80′s DJ scratching and then became so associated and recognized as a douche bag he fell off the media radar. Don’t let him creep back…damn CBS and damn you John Schneider (and indirectly Adam Sandler!)
PS Jeff stop kissing my girlfriend
PPS @Burnsy: I too love a good cap. I’m sorry for your loss…I had to stop wearing a beloved hat a few years ago…but it was because it started smelling like a homeless person
How does this guy still have a career? This NO TALENT hit the biggest lottery ever in the late 90′s by yelling/ nasal yodelling in front of 80′s DJ scratching and then became so associated and recognized as a douche bag he fell off the media radar. Don’t let him creep back…damn CBS and damn you John Schneider (and indirectly Adam Sandler!)
PS Jeff stop kissing my girlfriend
PPS @Burnsy: I too love a good cap. I’m sorry for your loss…I had to stop wearing a beloved hat a few years ago…but it was because it started smelling like a homeless person
I’d give David Bowie’s Nipple Antennae a badge (a merit badge, probably) for that comment if the much vaunted new commenting sytem allowed me to. A brilliant episode of Community and I was curiously moved when Jeff returned with the pizza and remarked, “Yeah, see what happens when I love you alone.”
Jesus. LEAVE you alone. That’s it. I’m seeing a shrink.
Fred Derpst Da Derp Dee Derp Da Teetley Derpee Derpee Dumb
I think I just became an atheist.
So they have Durst playing the talentless hack hanger-on, but who is going to play the rock star?
I would blame Evil Troy and Evil Aaaaabed, but I don’t think a felt goatee makes you this evil. Real goatee, maybe.
That was a good episode.
Fuck I hate Durst.
I just took great big Durst. I don’t normally keep people informed of these things, I just bring it up because of the coincidence.