Call off the search, I have found The Greatest TV Clip of All Time. In Animal Planet's "My Extreme Animal Phobia," badass muscular Marvin, adorned with tattooed sleeves and ink on his face and neck, breaks down into tears at the sight of puppies (video below via Buzzfeed).
In order to face his fear, Marvin has to pet a pit bull puppy that's about 4 months old. And every time I started to feel bad about him having a paralyzing deep-seated phobia, the camera cut to the little puppy wagging its tail and I couldn't help but laugh. There should be some sort of prerequisite for getting a neck tattoo. "I'm sorry, sir, but before I can give you this fearsome permanent mark that will limit your jobs to bouncer and speed-metal bassist, I have to ensure that you're not terrified of cuddly puppies. It's the law."
And now, in honor of Marvin, the MOST FEARSOME GALLERY OF PUPPIES EVER ASSEMBLED.
GAHHHHH NOOO!!! IT'S AN ICY KILLER! TAKE HIM AWAY!
AN ENTIRE PACK OF BLOODTHIRSTY KILLERS! LORD HAVE MERCY ON OUR SOULS!
A MONSTER ESCAPED FROM THE BRINY DEEP! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
SHHHHHH!!!! Back away slowly. It's going to be hungry for flesh when it wakes.
NOOOO!!! THOSE FOLDS OF SKIN CAN SUFFOCATE A MAN!
DEAR GOD HELP US!!! IT'S SHARPENING ITS TEETH IN PREPARATION FOR A KILL!
TWIN KILLERS SENT FROM HELL!!! MOTHER OF MERCY HEAR MY PRAYERS!
OH GOOD GOD LOOK AT THOSE RAZOR-SHARP CLAWS!!!! RUN, YOU FOOLS! SAVE YOURSELVES!
DON'T GO NEAR IT! IT'S ONLY FEIGNING SLEEP TO LURE YOU IN!
GAAAAAHHHH IT'S ABOUT TO POUNCE! WE'RE DOOMED!
*weeping* I tried to live a good life. This is the end.
Careful! Those claws will rip open your belly and spill your entrails for a bloody feast!
*loses control of bowels* Oh God. We're in the middle of their camp. We're as good as dead.
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Ahhhh stupid, full of shit, and fucking nuts.
well, great. now nothing else i ever watch will measure up to this 2 minute clip. thanks, matt.
Show me on the Pound Puppy where the bad man in the van full of puppies touched you.
All these puppies are clearly awesome – and terrifying – but I want number 4 so much it actually hurts a little.
“You’re not a coward!” Clearly. Give that man a medal for valor.
PUPPY!
The internet should be shut down, now. Nothing will ever come near the greatness of this post. Take the weekend off, Matt.
It’s posts like this that make me sad Animal Planet only shows the Puppy Bowl once a year. Can we get a Puppy World Series? Or how about Puppy Olympics, both summer and winter? I’d watch hours of puppies on trying to run on ice.
Oh, my. Oh, my, my.
This is SO how I want to die. I absolutely want to be snuggled by puppies.
I won’t be able to tell when I’m in heaven.
I bet if this guy was blind he would have had something awesome like a seeing eye komodo dragon, since, you know, dogs are way too scary.
Is that last photo of corgi puppies in PJs? Oh, my.
My god. Between this and the upcoming Corgi post, my day has suddenly become so much brighter. In the guy’s defense, #7 really does look like the twins are planning the photographer’s death. Look at that glare!
Where’s that final photo from? I want to live in that photo. My regular life is now diminished.
Long live Dr. Robin Zasio…….
….she should have explained…….pat that puppy and I’ll let you pound my pussy….
OH GOD, MY AVATAR MADE ME PISS MYSELF!
Totally agree, puppies are terrifying. They wag their tails and want to play to lure us to a state of happiness, then they tear us to pieces.
I want to find out where that guy’s tattoo shop his or wherever he works and run in with a puppy in my arms and be all “Say Hello to my little friend!” Then make him give me a free tattoo when his hands stop shaking with fear.
Al Pacino’s voice, Mike Tyson’s face tattoo, Terrance Howard’s pants, and Michael Jackson’s fear of dogs. I think we have found the craziest person on Earth…
After the show, he took a nap and woke up to the pit bull chewing the tattoo off his face.
He’s a hero to those who care.
I was going to point out that the man is scared of pitt bulls, not just puppies in general, but then I saw the last picture which I know now is the greatest thing there has ever been.
I was also moved to tears, for very different reasons, laughter and cuteness
Puppies ate his whole family….
This Man Is Terrified of Puppies by his wearing Canada Goose http://www.canadagoosejackets4u.com
Actually, this guy is afraid of all Pit Bulls, because he saw one attack his friend when he was 6 or 7 and his friend had to get 1000 stitches. They used a pit bull puppy, because that would cause less stress than a big buff full grown pit bull.
It would be a lot funnier if he was afraid of all PUPPIES. But, it is just pit bulls.
But how does he feel about the rapper Pitbull? Does he get Marvin locked up like Lindsay Lohan?
ABSOLUTE BEST PART OF THE VIDEO: at about 2:16 the puppy actually rolls his eyes at this big puss… with a big “are you F#$(*ng kidding me right now????” expression.
Wow, really? Making fun of a guy that, from the sounds of it, was brutally attacked by a dog as a young kid? Real classy.
if u had at all listend u would have realised he was only afraid of pitbulls and i think he gave a pretty damn good excuse as well. grow up and stop making fun of ppl u would crap your pants if this guy was about to hit u. get a life
@latalafa
- thus must gave taken much time away from your youtube commenting.
Fun fact: that tribal tattoo is actually Maori for ‘fag’
if you had paid more attention you would know he was traumatized by the memory of his childhood friend being mauled by a pit. i know it seems absurd to be scared of a puppy but it was more the emotional impact of reliving that awful experience in his mind
I was bit in the face by a dog a week ago,which required numerous stitches to put my mouth back together. Although I am not afraid myself, I understand why this guy is. So those of you who want to jump right in with the “fag” comments: I hope you get bit by a dog yourself. Try to put yourself in someone else’s shoes before judging.
Shame on the author and website. This is a fine example of the media screwing up the facts and misleading people for the sake of entertainment. The guy is afraid of pit bulls, not all puppies. His daughters even have a dog of their own. Yea, real funny to poke fun at people’s deep rooted phobias. Report the facts you tool.
What shallow, judgmental bunch of comments out here!!! Did you even watch the 2nd video? This is a typical example of what extreme psychological effects of trauma do to little children. You carry it til you get old. If you’re not scared of anything, anything at all that traumatized you when you were a little kid,..then you’re lucky. But some people are not. Educate yourself some more people. Makes me sad for humanity again this site!
if ::Life is lonely and boring. You may need -a fresh thing to..excite your mind.=,A friend t0ld me a nice place______βlαck’whitéplanét.C.0.M____-it’s a popular club in the w0rld t0 date and marry .there are successful and beautiful’ pe0ple. attractive young girls or excellent men. even ag’é-gap 1ove. and treat you like king or queen .,It’s worthy a try..you can meet them .. come on
Mike Tyson’s face tattoo, Terrance Howard’s pants, and Michael Jackson’s fear of dogs. I think we have found the craziest person on Earth…
OMG. i heart Shar-peis.
jeez, the trolls came out in force there didn’t they?
Most, if not all, human phobias are irrational. As ridiculous as it seems to you that this guy is afraid of puppies, I’d be willing to bet that he’d think the same of that which terrifies you.
You are correct GeauxGhoti. My phobia is that I may be too smart. Tard!
what a pussy! get OVER IT YOU FUCKIN WIMP!