Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries were paid almost $18 million to get married. $15M for E! to televise it, $2.5M for exclusive photo rights to People Magazine, $300K for exclusive engagement announcement to People, $100K for bridal shower to OK!, and $50K for the bachelorette party in Las Vegas. Then you figure in the freebies: $400K of Perrier Jouet Champagne, three $20K Vera Wang gowns, a $15K wedding cake, $10K in lavish invitations, and more — all free. After 72 days of marriage, Kim filed for divorce.
As people with working cerebral cortices rightfully called out Kim’s marriage for being a money-making sham, E! and the Kardashian Kompany went into defense mode: E! released a statement denying any such claim as “completely false” — while at the same time adding re-runs of the wedding to its schedule. Mom Kris Kardashian took a break from hawking her new book to defend Kim, telling baldfaced lies across multiple channels that Kim made no money off the wedding. And Kim herself went on to her blog to say what a starry-eyed romantic she is:
First and foremost, I married for love. I can’t believe I even have to defend this. I would not have spent so much time on something just for a TV show! [...]
Everyone that knows me knows that I’m a hopeless romantic! I love with all of my heart and soul. I want a family and babies and a real life so badly that maybe I rushed in to something too soon. I believed in love and the dream of what I wanted so badly. I felt like I was on a fast roller coaster and couldn’t get off when now I know I probably should have. I got caught up with the hoopla and the filming of the TV show that when I probably should have ended my relationship, I didn’t know how to and didn’t want to disappoint a lot of people.
Exact quote from first paragraph: “I married for love. I can’t believe I even have to defend this.” Exact quote from second paragraph: “I got caught up with the hoopla and the filming of the TV show that when I probably should have ended my relationship, I didn’t know how to and didn’t want to disappoint a lot of people.”
Yeah, I can’t believe she has to defend her 72-day marriage for love. Those kinds of accusations should only be levied at people who get famous for selling a sex tape — oh, right.
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Ugh, I thought we were going to talk about them, I hope this makes them finally go away.
I…I just don’t know what to believe in any more.
If you’re close to suicide and are looking for that extra reason to jump, read the comments on her blog post.
With the military coming home according to Obama, can we deploy troops domestically to round up anyone watching a Kardashian show and put them in ex-Japanese internment camps?
@Burnsy: My FB feed has been just as depressing for my prospects for the human race.
@pat bateman: don’t forget to include spencer and heidi etc.
I washed my hands of them when they didn’t televise the honeymoon. Full circle and all that.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: doesn’t matter who’s in the Oval Office right now–the popularity of this show is the exact reason this country’s going to shit.
For 18 mil, I’d get married twice! WHOOOOOOOAAAAAAAA!!!
@Burnsy: Goes to show you what kind of people have the kinda of time to comment on internet sites in the middle of the work day.
Porn stars don’t make anywhere close to this amount of scratch, and they degrade themselves in far more exotic and creative ways than just manipulating a bunch of mouth-breathing retards into watching their sham wedding. Kim Kardashian’s business strategy is the best thing since Eric Cartman’s “You Can’t Come” technique for building product demand.
A simple way for her to prove that she did it for love and not money is to pay everyone back.
Can we address the far more important failed marriage in the news today? ZOOEY IS NOW AVAILABLE.
@ Burnsy Can we get anomynous to disable comments on her blog. That was some horrifying shit.
Emily > Zooey
/Obligitory
//Would still do Zooey
Wow, I foolishly decided to put Burnsy’s words to the test and checked out the comments to the post on her website. I made it about four comments down (note: there were so, so many all caps comments. ALL CAPS MEANS I’Z SERIOUS BITCHES) before my brain said fuck you and left my body. I woke up twitching and foaming at the mouth about half an hour later and made a pact with my brain never to do anything that stupid again.
@Zack:
Actually, “You can’t come” would be a good term for the Kardashians’ marketing strategy, especially when compared to that of porn stars.
The only way I can be convinced is for her to get pregnant with Kris Humphries’ gangly, Brillo headed, slack jawed child. They must CONSUMATE! Then, and only then will I be convinced!
Maybe if they filmed it. And please, none of those ball sack underneath shots. Let’s keep the camera on the bangee where it belongs.
This is absolutely horrifying. How dare they manipulate the public like this.
Still…I would fuck her.
three. thousand. comments.
I love the people that un-ironically posted her playboy shots, though the posts of screenshots from the sex tape were the most insightful. Doesn’t she have someone to pull those down?
That comment section is hilarious/ dpressing end of the world/ idiocracy all at the same time.
$18 mil is pretty good pay for a mediocre whore; you go girl.
Getting paid $18 million to be married for 2.5 months? That’s some easy money right there. Can’t blame her.
We need a best and worst of Kim K’s comment section.Darwin’s theory of evolution has been disproved
/puts on team creationism shirt.
Ya know, 10 years ago I wanted nothing more than to be a real life Tyler Durden. Ten years later, I’d rather just be a shape-shifter that can morph into a customized micro-bacteria that can get into someones body and slowly or quickly kill them in whatever fashion my mind can imagine. Care to guess which people would be first on my list?
That guy at work? ‘Cause that guy is a DICK!