One day after NBC owned headlines thanks to Bob Costas’s exclusive, painful-to-watch interview with accused child rapist Jerry Sandusky, CBS had its own exclusive “get” with Mike McQueary, the Penn State assistant coach who, according to a grand jury, witnessed Sandusky having his way with a boy in the shower in 2002 and reported it to head coach Joe Paterno. CBS sent top sideline reporter Armen Keteyianto to interview McQueary, who gleaned every possible tidbit from him in an efficient, workmanlike 24 seconds. The transcript in entirety:
Keteyian: When do you think you’ll be ready to talk?
McQueary: The whole process has to play out. I just don’t have anything else to say.
Keteyian: Describe your emotions right now.
McQueary: All over the place, just kind of shaken.
Keteyian: Crazy?
McQueary: Crazy.
Keteyian: You said like what, Mike?
McQueary: Like a snow globe.
Keteyian: Like a snow globe?
McQueary: Yes sir.
BOOM! Nailed it. Go ahead and blow the smoke off your finger guns, AK, then sit back and wait for that Pulitzer to arrive in the mail. You earned it today.
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I think Keteyian is pretty good, but this shit was a total and utter embarrassment for CBS news and Keteyian.
EXCLUSIVE!
Almost as hard hitting as Bruno’s interview of Harrison Ford [www.youtube.com]
I’m so tempted to mock up a shower rape scene with Fimo, put it inside a snow globe, and mail it to McQueary.
This is why sideline reporters should be hot chicks. Easily forgivable.
Emotions like a snow globe? McQuery is like Citizen Kane? I’m so confused right now.
AK: How are you holding up?
MM: It’s crazy.
AK: Crazy?
MM: Crazy.
AK: Follow up: I know, right?
MM: Right.
AK: Crazy. … Back you, Fred.
I bet those kids wish they were shaken, too, about nine years before they met Sandusky.
McQueary favorite class at Penn St? Advanced Similes and Metaphors.
Keteyin tweeted: I didn’t “hype” anything, exclusive or otherwise. Honest about what we got – a glimpse into his “shaken” emotions. What? We don’t run it?
Ah, so McQueary was shaken like a snow globe. NOW I understand the metaphor.
We also would have accepted “Polaroid picture.”
@Matt, hey ya!
I don’t understand why everyone is so upset at McQuerys lack of action in that child’s time of need. It’s common knowledge that gingers do not have a soul. Why is everyone all the sudden surprised?
You know who wants “to be in your shoes for those 30 to 45 seconds” Mike?
The little boy who wasn’t wearing any shoes.
Is that snowglobe a WG original? First I’ve seen of what will be a fantastically tasteless meme
this is just more proof that gingers can’t be trusted.
McQueer: Like a snow globe
AK: Like a snow globe that got raped in the butthole?
McQueer; No, Like a regular snow globe. It’s horrendous.
AK: Is that in reference to Mr. Sandusky’s vast snow globe collection?
McQueary: You know about that?
AK: I am a reporter, Mike
McQueary: Crazy
“Dad, was that your commercial?”
“I don’t know.”