Ahhhh, nothing makes me feel like intellectual pursuits are a complete waste quite like Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi speaking straight from the heart. This time, the New York Times bestselling author sat down with GQ and shared her views about reading, politics, how she’d change “Jersey Shore,” and absolutely nothing that will make you feel good about the state of the nation. Choice excerpts:
GQ: So, I’ve got to ask: You’ve really never heard of J.K. Rowling or Maya Angelou?
Snooki: I don’t read. I don’t like to read Harry Potter or anything like that. It’s not my style.
GQ: But you’re a New York Times best-selling author!
Snooki: Yeah, doesn’t mean I have to read.
GQ: Fair point. What is your favorite book?
Snooki: Dear John. I read that in a day because it was so amazing. And then I ended up seeing the movie and it was really good. [SERIOUSLY? -Ed.] We were supposed to read in high school but I never did because I just used the CliffsNotes, books were too long.
*rubs temples* I… I don’t even want to process everything I just read there. Let’s just move on to how smart Snooki thinks she is:
GQ: What do you think people’s perception is of you guys?
Snooki: They just think that we’re stupid, that we have no education, and all we do is drink, have sex.
GQ: Do you want to change that?
Snooki: Oh, I would love to. I have an education, I went to college, you know?
Went. Not finished. Not graduated. Went.
GQ: What was your major?
Snooki: Veterinarian tech. Test me and bring me to a hospital. I can induce an animal, do surgery, do anesthesia, and take blood. So if you want to tell me I’m stupid again, let’s go to an animal hospital.
If I hand you a book at the animal hospital, can I still call you stupid?
GQ: What’s an animal that you’ve worked with before?
Snooki: I did dogs and cats. I’ve actually worked with ducks, drew blood from a horse, and stuck my hand in a cow’s ass.
That’s the least surprising — and possibly least depressing — statement in this entire interview.
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My nephew informed me once that he made it through high school without ever actually reading an entire book. It hurt my soul.
That last sentence……..was she talking about the animal hospital…….or did she switch topics back to her show?
I was halfway though this before I realized I was trying to gnaw my write open.
I’d rather take her to an abandoned warehouse and call her “victim”.
*I was halfway though this before I realized I was trying to gnaw my WRIST open.” I think I might be having an aneurism.
“I can induce an animal, do surgery, do anesthesia, and take blood.”
I’m not a veterinarian, but I’m calling bullshit on her being able to do anesthesia and surgery on an animal.
So much for Ivy League education.
[www.nypost.com]
Awwwww she thinks she’s people.
Ugh, she’s ruined C-Tates for me.
Veterinary tech is not a major, it’s a trade, and I don’t think you can call a trade school a “college” when even DeVry students make fun of it.
I’m still not sure what’s worse — that someone who actively doesn’t read became a bestselling author, or that millions of people who apparently do bought her book.
I’m surprised she even used Cliff Notes. She seems like the type to just watch the movie based on the book.
KILL IT WITH FIRE!
How terrible must it be to be her ghost writer? You have to turn her drivel into something passable and she gets to be the NYT bestselling author.
“stuck my hand in a cow’s ass.”
She can fist herself? Now that’s some talent right there!
And yet she makes more than all of us combined. This is the cruelest of all universes.
Whatever. Her book should be described as Litter-ature because like her it’s trash.
Thinking about her being the “1%” makes me want to join the OWS movement and become best friends with Ketchup.
Urge to kill….rising!!
Ain’t it great to know in 20 years all women will be like this?
“Oh yeah? Well let’s just take a trip to the animal hospital. I’ll stick my hand in a cow’s ass and we’ll just SEE who’s stupid! I AM A PHEONIX!!!”
My soul just exited stage left.
Induce an animal to do what?
/shudder
Maria Bello says that photo is giving the Fedora a bad name.
The children, they are our future…
Snooki on the best seller list is equivalent to a large pile of feces attracting many flies.
Snooki cannot perform surgery. Vet tech can do just about everything except perform surgery, diagnose, prognoses, and write out Prescriptions. YES Vet Tech do anesthesia, we know more about anesthesia then the veterinarians! But she CAN NOT do surgery. And she should know better then to say that…. it’s vet tech 101.