
South Park (Comedy Central) — Season finale. Kenny and his siblings land in a foster home, which of course reminds me of one of the best “Simpsons” episodes of all time. “Stupid babies need the most attention!”
The Middle (ABC) — I can’t remember a time when I’ve ever put this show in the listings. But Norm MacDonald guest stars tonight as “Uncle Rusty,” and that’s good enough for me to make note of it. Not enough to watch it, mind you, but enough to acknowledge its existence.
Up All Night (NBC) — Molly Shannon guest stars as Christina Applegate’s inept assistant.
Law & Order: SVU (NBC) — A mental patient claims he witnessed a rape, but the alleged victim, guest star Natasha Lyonne, says it never happened. If it was the real world: case closed, cops move on. I suspect the “SVU” outcome is different.
Suburgatory (ABC) — This show’s starting to lose me. I like Jeremy Sisto and Cheryl Hines, and the Emma Stone impostor playing Sisto’s daughter is good, but “Suburgatory’s” woefully short on actual JOKES. If you’re going to do the 30-minute dramedy thing, at least air it on Showtime so I know to avoid it.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Jerry Seinfeld on Letterman; Robin Williams and Maria Bello on Leno; Tim Allen on Kimmel; Michael Ian Black on Ferguson; Martin Short, Kermit & Miss Piggy, and Michael Stipe on Fallon; and Snooki and Rob Riggle on Conan.



Welfare Lady: Sink full of dirty dishes. Trash not taken out. Living room a mess, stacks of old newspapers… *gasp!* from 20 years ago!
Welfare Man: A desheveled and malnourished man found sleeping in his own filth, seems confused and dehydrated.
Welfare Lady: Where’s the baby!?
Abe: That’s her aint it? *points to Maggie drinking from dog dish*. Kids love that water!
Welfare Lady: *spots the “I’m a stupid baby” sign on Maggie from earlier in the episode* Oh my lord!
Welfare Man: Stupid babies need the most attention!
“Wait, Homer, what did you just say?”
“I said shut your stupid face Flanders!”
Cmon man theres gotta be more shit on tv every day put some more options up cause im way to lazy to look in a tv guide everyday but im totally ok with you doing that for me
How about some love for “Revenge”? I find myself really enjoying that show, although that might be my vagina talking