No matter where your politics might lie, it’s hard to argue with the notion that the clown-car circus that is the Republican Presidential Candidate field is trying their damdnest to ensure that President Obama is re-elected next year, 8.6 percent unemployment rate be damned. Every few weeks, there’s a new front-runner seeking to supplant Mitt Romney, and every few weeks a new front-runner burns out in a blaze of boobs and stupidity.
Meanwhile, over the weekend, Mitt Romney — everyone’s choice of last resort, and the one guy who hasn’t said anything completely crazypants yet — did about the dumbest thing a candidate could do in an economy recovering from a recession: He offered a $10,000 bet to Rick Perry over the veracity of one of his statements. Mitt Romney figuratively pulled out one of the $10,000 bills he stuffs in his magic underwear to keep his testicles cool and casually offered it up in a gentlemen’s bet with a racist, homophobic buffoon who torched his presidential prospects months ago. Come on, Mitt: Take cues from Mortimer and Randolph: A truly wealthy individual only bets $1. It’s not about the money, it’s about winning.
Good news, Mittens: More people watched that Presidential debate than any other debate this season. 7.1 million folks tuned in, or twice the number of people who watch “Community,” to see Romney run out of bounds and stop the clock, giving the ball back to Tebow with less than a minute to play the game.
And for some reason, Fox News is SHOCKED that more people believe that Obama will win the election next year than Gingrich or Romney.
The best thing that Obama could do at this point with his massive war chest is simply to buy hours and hours of air time for his opponent and let him shoot himself in the foot. It’s too bad for Obama that Donald Trump is considering scrapping his debate: It would’ve been a perfect opportunity for Gingrich to Harakiri himself and leave Rick Santorum the next front runner.
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Of course the people at Fox News are shocked. They get their take on the world from Fox News.
OBAMAS NOT EVEN AMEIRCAN
I’ll bet Rick Perry $10,000 that he’s not man enough to tongue-kiss my butthole.
I’m just amazed Carlson can read those words and numbers on the poll.
Obama has had to lock himself in his safe room more than one during these debates and just laugh his fucking ass off.
As a Democrat I can only say one thing: Go, Newt!
That tears it. I know who I’ll be voting for in 2012: Mayan prophecy.
Even if the Republican candidate pool wasn’t a total fucking joke, most people would still bet on Obama winning simply because the Republicans haven’t narrowed things down yet. Would you bet on the guy who’s been doing the job for 4 years or on the people who don’t yet have their shit together?
Shockingly, Ron Paul was the only one not to say anything pants-on-head retarded.
He didn’t even say anything offense during the question “Are Palestinians a created people?”
offensive*
Kodos 2012
If he had money, Ron Paul would be DANGEROUS. Thank Tebow he’s pissed off every major conservative donor.
This is, frankly, one of the many reasons it’s hard to be a Republican. Because a perfectly adequate candidate that could, I believe, mop the floor with Obama like Huntsman is relegated to the back of the field because the press gets distracted by all the flashing Neo-Con lights surrounding Mitt Romney or all the hot air that swirls through Rick Perry’s mouth when he unhinges his jaw and tries to have a thought. Essentially the Party is being defined by how outsiders view it and reacting to that rather than having a thought of it’s own. This is what lost the Democrats the 2004 election: They wanted anybody but Bush and got a Perry is a Bush clone and since Bush turned into a disaster of mismanagement and old boy’s club nonsense, I’m not looking forward to voting for the guy. Romney is a flip flopping asshole so dedicated to being President for the sake of being President that he makes Herman Cain look grounded. Frankly, I just want to stay home if John Huntsman isn’t the goddamned front runner and I’m pretty sure a lot of Moderates in the party feel the same way. I might even get drunk and vote for Obama 2012 because I’d rather have the incompetent, ineffectual devil I know than the possibly retarded, probably crooked demon waiting in line. Also if Obama wins then in four years Biden will get the idea in his head to run for office and then we’ll win no matter who we nominate.
I’m considering voting for Tebow.
I meant to say “They wanted anybody but Bush and got an unlikeable Frankenstein instead.”
thecursor, I think you’re right about how Democrats got stuck with John Kerry (a.k.a. Mitt Romney 1.0) but I don’t think it’s fair to blame this current shitshow on the press.
It’s not the media who’s keeping a moderate Republican from succeeding in these primaries; it’s the voters. What we’re seeing is the fulfillment of H.L. Mencken’s old quote that “Democracy is the theory that the people should get what they want, and hard.”
In fact, given his 1% standing in the polls, Jon Huntsman has actually been getting a disproportionate amount of attention from the media. It’s the Republican base who decided Huntsman was much too sane and accomplished to be their candidate, deciding instead to flit around between Crazy Eyes Bachmann, the Godfather of Sexual Harassment, and now Big Baby Newt.
@thecursor: Exactly the same thing I talk to my dad about. This is 2004 Bush-Kerry all over again. A HUGELY vulnerable candidate that half the country hates and who could be beaten by a semi-competent adversary, and yet the opposing party nominates the best of a horrible crowd and will lose 50.5 to 49.5.
I get why Paul is so popular but I’ve never been able to support a Libertarian candidate for anything. And let’s face it, he’s a Libertarian that has convinced enough Republicans to let him into the party. So much of their policies end up looking like a political science experiment. I’d rather hear a reasoned, working solution than whatever idea sounds most like an Ayn Rand novel. I love Libertarians, they make a lot of good points but I don’t want one of them to be president.
Otto, your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter. You wouldn’t happen to Tweet on the Twitter would you?
And he’s absolutely correct thecursor, the GOP made Huntsman a 1% candidate, you can’t blame the press for reporting on the batshit crazy things the GOP frontrunners say when the GOP made them the frontrunners.
If Obama wins again, I hope in year 7 of his presidency, when he’s all but checked out by that point, that he decides to run the NYC marathon. Not because it would be promoting good health, but win or lose the marathon, millions of Republicans will finally know if he’s Kenyan or not.
@Otto Man, I suppose that’s a fair point. I might argue that the press doesn’t operate in a vacuum and we can’t assume that their mere prescience is affecting the race but that might be grasping at straws on my part. Republicans have always been more vulnerable than Democrats to extremism in the primaries. When Democrats do primaries, the more extreme candidates wind up running as Green Party or Independents and come election time are given the general party spanking they deserve. But Conservatives stick with the pack, which is good come election time, but you get so much of the platform hijack at primary time that you wind up with everyone appealing to the guys in the audience than the average member at their base. I hate primaries and call them inefficient for this reason. If I had my way, I’d a one primary system with general campaigning since so much of this bullshit is just to boost the egos of the local bosses and leaders. I don’t care that the only thing anyone cares about in New Hampshire is having their primary first…it’s fucking stupid that we continue to bow down and kiss the asses of what ever bible beater calls himself a Conservative this year without keeping our eye on the thousands of Independents we isolate when we elect a guy who says “Tax cut” and “Family values” and call that our candidate.
The best thing that could happen to this system is the institution of an actual, legitimate third party, where all the non-asshole Republicans and the non-pussy Democrats can come together, compromise on issues and actually represent the 60% of America that isn’t fringe for one side or the other.
*isnt affecting the race but that might be grasping at straws. My stupid computer
Republicans made a calculated decision to sit idly by while the middle class crumbles just so they could blame Obama and get someone else in the white house. If you’re not wealthy and you vote republican… what are you clinging to? Ideology? I f’n love the Tea Party. Whipping up support amongst the middle class for policys that handsomely reward the richest Americans all in the guise of halting “class warfare?” Holy shit, I think we finally have a movement even more brilliant than $cientology.
Occupy Wallstreet is simply the culmination of people finally realizing that the richest 1% are growing even more disproportionally wealthy compared to a middle class that is shouldering the burden of the worst economy since Hoover was in office.
I could go on and on but this isn’t the place for this.
and to think, a year ago we thought sarah palin was gonna be our crazy republican frontrunner.
The media does certainly shape things in some ways. But I’d say the biggest example of that is how the media (from Fox to MSNBC) completely marginalized Ron Paul. I think the guy’s a nutcase (with some skeletons in his closet), but he has significant support in the primary base that the media just refuses to acknowledge.
And yeah, in the Democratic Party, we’ve had our nutjobs, but not even we want to see Dennis Kucinich get anywhere near the White House. Especially because it means Santa would lose a very important elf at the workshop.
But you’re right — the primary system is insane, especially given how much we prioritize states that don’t look much like the rest of America. (And, Jesus, get rid of the Iowa caucuses, and the fucking ethanol subsidy would be toast.)
For serious, guys: This is the most level headed, logical discussion with Republicans and Democrats that I’ve read in a long, long time. I’ve long said that WarmingGlow needs to start a political party and this just confirms it.
@LastTexanFan, I would rather flip that and say let’s funnel all the bible beating Moral Majority Mother fuckers and Neo Cons into a new party, funnel all the hyper Progressive Hypocrites and Leaf Munchers into another party.
Then let the perfectly reasonable people actually have a valid voice come election time with a Democrat party that isn’t afraid of saying “Maybe being successful isn’t so bad because I earned what I have” and a Republican party that isn’t afraid to say “There’s nothing wrong with showing some state sponsored compassion to those who people who are less successful than I am.” A four party system would let the wackos have the chance to be wacko, then not get elected to anything higher than the Senate and then all the normal people can have a quiet, reasoned debate every 4 years.
Either idea is perfectly acceptable to me as long as I can bury those odious gay bashing sleaze bags in the backyard and the Democrats can put the Democracy Now! crowd in a boat and sink it.
While Calderon has had his faults, its unfortunate his term is not renewable. A lack of strong candidates has to frustrate voters, but Nieto seems to has distinguished himself.
What’s that? Oh the AMERICAN presidential election of 2012. Yeah, I don’t know anything about that other than that Mormon priest seems awfully angry at the Kenyan fellow.
@Otto, It is kind of said he’s not a front runner in the press coverage. I don’t like the guy but he should be front and center. According to FOX and MSN, the Republican Field is Perry, Romney, Bachmann (who doesn’t have a pray) and Herman Cain’s mistress.
3.5 million people watch ‘Community”?!
@Youppi: so you say Batista’s gone?
@Youppi…other countries have PRESIDENTS?
I think if they just have, like, 3 or 4 more debates we should be able to figure this out.
I’m just amazed Carlson can read those words and numbers on the poll.
They probably outsourced them. This is what happens when you let the Fox News staffers create a graphic on their own.
[www.washingtonmonthly.com]
Can we just let the BCS computers sort all this out?
@La Schmoove: Our logo would be way better than an elephant or donkey.
We’ll have to see what the polls say once the GOP finally picks a candidate. It should be noted that in a poll between voting for Obama or Romney in the General Election, the numbers are within the margin of error.