Did you hear that? That’s the sound of your underpants as you lose your sh*t: The teaser trailer for the season two of HBO’s fantasy series “Game of Thrones” has arrived and while it doesn’t offer much in the way of substance, there’s plenty here to get your tingly bits tingling and keep you sated until April 12th when the season debuts. Basically, it’s a series of shots of the usual dudes and dudettes, plus some voice over narration from a guy who claims the Iron Throne rightfully belongs to him. The voice is likely that of Stannis Baratheon (new cast member Stephen Dillane), the brother of daisy-pusher, Robert. The “Winter is Coming” tagline has also been replaced by the decidedly less catchy, “The Cold Winds are Rising,” which so far has no sexual connotations that I can exploit. What it’s missing, unfortunately, are multiple scenes of Tyrion b*tch-slapping Joffrey as well as shots of Daenerys and her lesbian lover riding a Unicorn topless in the clouds. But I think that’s in Season Three, anyway. I’m sure the all smug book readers will tell us all about it, WON’T YOU?
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SEASON THREE NAKED KIT HARINGTON THAT IS ALL.
Season 1 – Winter is coming.
Season 2 – Cold winds are rising.
I can’t be the only one hoping Season 3 takes a line from “What We Do” by Freeway and goes with “It’s a cold winter, y’all n-ggas better bundle up.”
April? Really? Fuck.
Maybe they’re going with reverse erection process.
Season 3 – Flaccid and Freezing.
but MooooOOOooooOOOm I want it NOW!
[changes pants]
“The voice is likely that of Stannis Baratheon”
Pretty sure it is Stannis.
/smug book reader
OMG, CAN’T WAIT.
No new characters in the preview, though? I mean, aside from Stannis’ voice. I guess they wanted to focus on the folks we already know.
Maybe these will help you guys through your Game of Thrones withdraw. They’re a collections of parodies I stumble across on youtube.
[www.youtube.com]
April is too far away. I could re-read A Clash of Kings by then.
*Reads at a 3rd grade level. Totally re-reading A Clash of Kings.
“My brother left no true-born heir”
It’s definitely Stannis.
Yes. OMG YES.
…there’s plenty here to get your tingly bits tingling and keep you sated until April 12th when the season debuts.
Really, the only thing that would be “plenty” would be season 2 now and season 3 debuting then, but yeah, this is pretty damn exciting.
Fellow smug book readers: I don’t remember “The Cold Winds Are Rising” from the books. Is that an HBO creation, or am I just in the last 100 pages of Dance With Dragons and have forgotten 40% of what I read?
*removes monocle, places book on lap, adjusts logs in fireplace*
“My brother left no true-born heir”… Could be Stannis or Renly. Probably Stannis.
*replaces monocle, cups own fart, palm-bombs wife*