“New Girl” is one of those shows built around a big star, in this case Zooey Deschanel, where the big star is actually the least enjoyable character of the ensemble, although she’s not quite as useless as Winston. The show has no idea what to do with Winston, but even still, he’s less obnoxious than Deschanel, whose Zooey-ness has been cranked up to the eyeballs. PLEASE STOP SINGING YOUR INANE THOUGHTS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TURN DOWN THE WHIMSY. Point being: It’s an amusing show, but much of that has to do with Max Greenfield’s Schmidt, the most endearing douche on television. Below is a “leaked” dating video that Schmidt edited together in 2008, and it is remarkably douchetastic. You can actually smell the vinegar and water.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/4006/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/SADSF-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/tumblr_ly1wnhCiVd1qa1li4o1_500-150x150.gif)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/schmidt_640-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/it-is-what-it-is-150x150.gif)
Is it just me, or does he have, like, the BIGGEST HEAD EVER ON A HUMAN?
Zooey > Tebow
HHHHNNNNNNNNNNGGGGG. That banner picture.
I love Zooey with all my penis, but my God, they need to dial down the avalanche of quirky that suffocates that show every day.
Fake Zooey is fake.
[20.media.tumblr.com]
He will always be Officer Leo to me.
@alvis I usually get mad when I see Zooey but the pic up there did not incite the normal anger. Now I know why.
@Mel, YES.
Schmidt’s pretty much Network Dennis Reynolds.
Gar.
Without having a thing for mildly retarded girls there’d be no reason to own a television.
Dammit Alvis. I was happy for a few seconds there thinking it was real. I was gonna masturbate and everything.
I think that picture just got me fired.
@Alvis
Way to ruin my Pabst Blue boner.
I thought hipsters were supposed to have 80′s bush?
@Alvis. Fuck you Alvis for fucking it up for the rest of us.
For the record, I have no problem with the level of Quirky on the show. It’s exactly the amount I expected.
And boy is my penis tired.
you know I love that show, because she reminds me of me… only attractive, and a female.
at least female for now… I’m saving up… the surgery will happen in 3 years.
cant wait!
Waaaaay to quirky. Not at all like nails on chalkboard, no, no, no. Not annoying as all hell.
Fuck you Alvis!!
I knew that pic was fake, but I figured she was just wearing a thin string thong that they just removed later, ala Jessica Alba nude shower scene in Machete style. I’d have never guess they pulled the ole’ head paste that I honestly haven’t seen since the dial up days of the 90′s.
Hey guys.
Emily > Zooey
Schmidt offering sushi to the other guys in his douchetastic way and having the other dude say “What happened to you? When did you get like this” was great.
Also love this: [www.youtube.com]
YOU GOT SOME SCHMIDT ON YOUR FACE!
I am very late to the party, but you guys are retarded. As if knowing that the pic is fake is going to stop me.