In what has to be the worst idea since, well, last year’s Super Bowl (Black Eyed Peas), the NFL committee of out-of-touch dunderheads have, in their infinite wisdom, officially chosen 53-year-old Madonna to perform at the Super Bowl halftime show in Indianapolis this year, and by “perform” I mean: take the starting team of each football squad (the Pats vs. Packers, obvs.) behind the bleachers for spankings.
The gig has been rumored for months, but on Sunday night the NFL confirmed that Madonna will make her Super Bowl debut in an extravaganza that will be “imagined” by Cirque du Soleil and her longtime choreographer/creative director Jamie King. (Source: MTV)
A heady combination of Cirque du Soleil, Vogueing, and “Papa Don’t Preach” is precisely what 100 million people at home drunk on Coors Light and Doritos needs to push them into their beer coma. Word is, during the finale, she’ll play “Like a Prayer,” make out with Britney Spears and hump the goal post while special guest star Tim Tebow kneels at the 50-yard line and prays for it all to go away.
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You can show 60-year old veiny, gross ass muscle arms at a Super Bowl halftime show but you cant show a nipple?
I can’t wait for Lady Gaga to play the SB halftime show in 20 years.
I’m trying to think of the most controversial thing Madonna can do during this halftime show, and all I can come up with is “blowing Jerry Sandusky.”
There is no reason for anyone other than Prince to appear during the halftime show.
Why not just trot out a salute to Broadway while they’re at it?
Madonna is goddamn insufferable these days.
I hope she sings all her songs while trying to maintain her fake British accent.that will be a nice one two punch to murica.
Look, I realize that the Super Bowl no longer belongs to real football fans and has been hijacked by ad agencies, PR firms and everybody else who was watching the kardashians every Sunday instead of football and have no idea who’s even IN the bowl until the day before…..even by THOSE standards, madonna is a crappy pick.
I wonder if Nickleback will make a guest appearance, really rub the horrible into that wound.
That would be the only time I would join Tim Tebow on my knees in prayer
@ Tracer Bullet – PREACH.
BRING BACK HOORAY FOR EVERYTHING.
(But hey, at least in your hypothetical scenario, Tebow’s not playing in the Super Bowl.)
Ladies and gentlemen! For the half-time entertainment,
the National Football League is proud to present
a salute to our South Sea neighbors: Viva Calypso!
How the hell is Tebow going to be praying on the sideline when he’ll be in the locker room preparing for the second half?!
-Skip Bayless
It’s really too bad there wasn’t a local singer from Indiana with a few popular songs who could play the Superbowl and electrify the crowd.
Cindy Lauper was busy?
The Superbowl: Where Music Goes to Die.