In what has to be the worst idea since, well, last year’s Super Bowl (Black Eyed Peas), the NFL committee of out-of-touch dunderheads have, in their infinite wisdom, officially chosen 53-year-old Madonna to perform at the Super Bowl halftime show in Indianapolis this year, and by “perform” I mean: take the starting team of each football squad (the Pats vs. Packers, obvs.) behind the bleachers for spankings.
The gig has been rumored for months, but on Sunday night the NFL confirmed that Madonna will make her Super Bowl debut in an extravaganza that will be “imagined” by Cirque du Soleil and her longtime choreographer/creative director Jamie King. (Source: MTV)
A heady combination of Cirque du Soleil, Vogueing, and “Papa Don’t Preach” is precisely what 100 million people at home drunk on Coors Light and Doritos needs to push them into their beer coma. Word is, during the finale, she’ll play “Like a Prayer,” make out with Britney Spears and hump the goal post while special guest star Tim Tebow kneels at the 50-yard line and prays for it all to go away.