Weekend Preview: Happy New Year!

Dick Clark’s Rockin New Year’s Eve with Ryan Seacrest (ABC, Saturday) – I know this is where I’m supposed to make some lazy, hacky joke about how Dick Clark had a stroke years ago and is still doing the show, but I have no interest in doing that. Instead I’ll point out that LMFAO is performing and repeat what I’ve said many times: LMFAO’s music sounds like a spaceship malfunctioning.

New Year’s Eve with Carson Daly (NBC, Saturday) – All over the country on New Year’s Eve, starlets from the 1990s will be watching TV with their friends and avoiding eye contact out of shame anytime someone flips to this.

The Life & Times of Tim (HBO, Friday) – Every time I’ve watched an episode of this animated show that HBO rescued from the scrap heap, I’ve enjoyed it. Then I forget to watch it again for a month. It’s a lot like that one Jay-Z song where he rapped about how it’s a hard knock life. I forget the name of it, but it was a good track.

Hell on Wheels (AMC, Sunday) – I tried, I really did, but I just couldn’t get into this show. Then again, like 40% of my favorite shows involve people preparing or eating barbecue, so take that with a grain of salt.

Rachael vs. Guy: Celebrity Cook-off (Food Network) – [bangs head on desk]

All-American Muslim (TLC, Sunday) – Hmmm. I haven’t heard anything about this show, so I’ll just assume people are discussing it in the quiet, measured tones I’ve come to expect from our free society.

Angry Boys (HBO, Sunday) – A new series from Australian Chris Lilley, the demented genius behind “Summer Heights High.” I’ve posted a trailer after the jump. Let’s just say I’m optimistic on this one.