Connecticut Mayor Will Eat Tacos to Prove He Loves Latinos

¿Derp?

After four East Haven, CT police officers were arrested due to alleged anti-Latino bias, the town’s mayor, Joseph Maturo Jr., attempted to decrease tensions by explaining to a news channel that he’s, like, totally cool with Latinos. “What are you doing for the Latino community today?” WPIX reporter Mario Diaz asked. Maturo’s response, “I might have tacos when I go home. I’m not quite sure yet.” He should have just praised his gardener and moved on.

Needless to say, Maturo’s Michael Scott-like comments pissed a lot of people off, and he’s since apologized for his “off-collar” remarks, blaming “the stress of the situation get[ting] the best of me.” You know what always helps me to relax? A nice Beefy Crunch Burrito from Taco Bell, and there are two within five miles of East Haven! And Mayor, you have nothing to worry about: only white people work at Taco Bell.

In other news: two female porn stars are running against one another to become the mayor of Taranto, Italy, and will have a pole-dancing event next month, “where local voters will be able to discuss the major issues,” according to Business Insider. America BLOWS.