It’s no secret that my daily to-do list starts out with the same two things everyday: 1) Make jokes at the expense of Guy Fieri, and; 2) Check in on Aaron Carter and Taylor Dayne to see what they’ve been up to. So imagine my delight when I came across this clip of Carter and Dayne competing against each other on “Rachael vs. Guy: Celebrity Cook-off.” It’s not often you have the opportunity to take out three ridiculously-coiffed birds with one stone. Big day for me.
In the clip — which, for the record, starts out with a bro hug between Aaron Carter and N Sync’s Joey Fatone, because of course it would — Carter tries to in vain to make homemade ranch dressing, and then later is bested by Dayne in the final challenge and sent home. The whole clip is worth watching, if for no other reason than the part where fellow competitor Lou Diamond Phillips says “Three minutes, guys. Three minutes. Tick tock.” I wish this was how ALL time alerts were announced. Like, you’re taking a timed exam and trying frantically to finish, and then, out of nowhere and without explanation, Lou Diamond Phillips pokes his head inside the door, says “Three minutes, guys. Three minutes. Tick tock,” and then vanishes as mysteriously as he appeared. I would like that. It would be the last thing I would ever see because my brain would overheat trying to comprehend it and I would die, but I would like it.
BONUS VIDEO: While writing this post, I took a break to watch Taylor Dayne’s video for “Tell It To My Heart.” HOLY MOLEY. It is a hair and fashion horror show of staggering proportions, and I want to go back in time to 1987 and buy it shares of Apple so it will realize what a savvy financial mind I have and agree to marry me. Enjoy.
via Buzzfeed
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It’s no Nelson’s “Love and Affection” but it will do.
Lou Diamond Phillips: “Three minutes, guys. Three minutes. Tick tock.”
Me: “NAVAJO.“
DID YA SEE THE SIZE OF THAT CHICKEN?
Summer Sanders still looking good. Guy Fieri still looking douche.
She will never not look good.
“What people don’t know about me is that I love to cook… meth.”
The screen-cap that the YouTube has decided as it’s imbed still for that Taylor Dayne video looks like a crudely fashioned blow up doll.
Why am I being attacked by hidden Mucinex ads on this page? I’ve stopped the two I see and I can still hear at least 2 more somewhere.
Aaron Carter is like a living fossil from the TRL Era. It’s pretty sad when your biggest claim to fame is being related to a guy who’s barely even famous himself.
Jimmy Carter?
Gary Carter?
That guy from Mars?
“Video blocked due to location”.
Me: Yay!
I actually taped this show because I had an unsavory compulsion to watch Cheech Marin cook. 15 minutes into it, I had to delete it because my eyes were bleeding.
“When the spirit horse comes, then it’s over. Tick tock.”
They brohugged because it’s easier to hide the tears at remembering they all blew that Perlman guy.