Lots of People Watched ‘Untouchable’

I will go to great lengths to run this picture

In last Friday’s Weekend Preview, I led with a reminder about the Lifetime Original Movie Drew Peterson: Untouchable, starring Rob Lowe and featuring the universe-altering line of dialogue, “I’m untouchable, bitch.” At the end of the entry, after saying how overjoyed I was by that line, I wrote “That said, there is no chance I watch this movie.” Well, I have a confession to make to you, readers: I am a liar. I watched THE MESS out of it. And I was far from alone:

The Lifetime Original Movie Drew Peterson: Untouchable drew 5.8 million viewers in its premiere on Saturday to become the most watched movie on cable in two years — since Lifetime’s The Pregnancy Pact on January 23, 2010. It edged the January 2011 hit The Craiglist Killer (5.4 million) in total viewers, though it trailed behind in adults 25-54 (2.5 million vs. 2.7 million) and all key demos, ranking as the Lifetime’s highest-rated movie since then. [Deadline]

I don’t want to mince words here, so let me get right to the point: this movie was GLORIOUS. I’m openly in the tank for campy, over-the-top movies, and Drew Peterson: Untouchable was that times a million with hilarious mustaches and Chicago accents thrown in for good measure. If those types of movies are your thing, first of all, we would get along famously, and second of all, if you see it on your guide someday, save it on your DVR. Trust me on this. After all, I’m the guy who wrote the definitive piece of literature about the movie Karate Dog. I know what I’m talking about.

To illustrate my point, I’ve posted a video of highlights from the movie that the heroes at Vulture put together. After watching it, I think you’ll agree that the people responsible for Drew Peterson: Untouchable should ask for a box when they get to the Emmys to carry all their trophies out,