This past weekend, Dick Tufeld, who provided the voice of the robot on “Lost in Space,” passed away at the age of 85. It was one of the first big TV personality deaths of 2012, and obviously won’t be the last. *Cash register opening noise* If you’re a betting (wo)man who has an inside tip that, say, Emeril Lagasse or Danny DeVito is going to croak this year, then you might want to join the Lee Atwater Invitational Dead Pool on Stiffs.com.
It’s one of the Internet’s most popular death pools, and the rules are as such:
Pick ten famous people you think might die between January 1st and December 31st. Each entry costs you 15 bucks, and at the end of the year, the list with the most dead celebs wins a sh*tload of cash. This year, First Prize is $3000 in cold, hard, American currency.
The highest TV person on the list is a surprising choice: 68-year-old Penny Marshall at #9 with 311 votes. Some very old people come after her, including 94-year-old Phyllis Diller at #29, 82-year-old Dick Clark at #31, and 91-year-old Mickey Rooney at #36. Jiminy jillikers! The further down the list you go, however, is when you start to see the WILD CARD selections, the celebrities with only single-digits votes, like Artie Lange (9), Andy Dick (7), and Bill Cosby and Bob Newhart (6). Then there are the single-VOTE selections, who could win someone a good chunk of change should they fall off a tall building or something. Here are but a few.
(Also: not that you’d ever, EVER wish death upon anyone, but: who do you think will die in 2012?)
Roseanne Barr, 59
Terry Bradshaw, 63
Chevy Chase, 68
Tony Danza, 60
Paula Deen, 65 (I can’t believe she only has a single vote)
Tina Fey, 41
Yakov Smirnoff, 61
Carrot Top, 46
Neither of the last two are TV celebrities, but, I dunno, wishful thinking?
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The fact that Carrot Top is almost 50, disturbs me greatly….along with his hair, body, face and everything about him.
I cannot be the only one who thinks Bourdain will bite it before Fatty Boomalatty Paula, right?
Tina Fey?! HOW DARE YOU, RANDOM PERSON ON THE INTERNET. I WILL FIGHT YOU.
Two things:
1. I’ll never understand why people do Death Pools. It gives me the creeps.
2. WOW! Tony Danza looks like Joe Girardi.
Because the pools can yield a lot of cash. My family and friends do one every year. It’s nice when the winner leaves $2000 richer
But let’s say, you have Charlie Steiner–and he passes on December 30…esentially winning you the entire pool. Don’t you feel awful that someone’s death is making you a lot of cash (I suppose you could use life insurance as a counter argument though)?
We try not to think about it too much
Hopefully Abe Vigoda and Max Von Sydow will live forever.
I can only believe Abe Vigoda is not tops on that list because most people don’t realize he’s still alive.
Not Yakoff!
In Soviet Russia, death stalks you!
If Courtney Stoddard doesn’t kill Doug Hutchinson then he’s definitely doing it wrong.
Anybody else think Carrot Top looks like Lion-O from Thundercats in that pic?
Outstanding.
I think we all want Paula Deen to die. Which is why it sucks so bad that she’ll outlive us all thanks to her butter IV set-up and penchant for eating bacon fat sandwiches (you know, one slab of bacon fat in between two sticks of butter).
Find a really cute kid who is about to die and make him famous by doing a reality show about his illness. Get in close with him and his family and become part of the inner circle. Tell the world he’s way sicker than he really is .. His compelling story of his struggles with his disease and his acceptance of his imminent demise will warm everyone’s hearts, but not enough not to pick him as one of the 10 famous people that will die. When December 31st rolls around and everyone wasted a pick on him, poison the kid the first week of January (but not before putting him on YOUR list) and you’re ensured at least one of your picks will die in 2013!
Stop giving TLC ideas, asshole.
This is brilliant. Can we start with one of the Toddlers & Tiaras little ladies? They’re half-dead anyways.
Andy Dick
Oh yeah, I could totally see Tony Danza with ball cancer.
I’d be bummed by all of these but I kind of get the vibe from…
Alan Alda
Harrison Ford
Ian McKellan
Joe Namath
I swear I thought Artie Lange died last year.
This blog killed Juan Epstein!
This is just terrible. I mean, seriously, who does a death pool without a young & tragic slot?