Vulture pointed out the similarity between Dark Knight Rises villain Bane and Futurama’s Decapodian doctor, John Zoidberg, and now I can’t stop thinking that Bane should just say WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP the entire movie. It’s not like you can understand him, anyways. (Vulture)
Kate Upton Did Something Fun With Kids — When I was 19, I was getting stoned and playing Super Smash Brothers for endless hours at a time, not making the dreams of children come true. You’ve got my vote, Kate (see below). (With Leather)
Stephen Colbert May Join the Race for the Republican Presidential Nomination — Remember when Roseanne announced she was going to run for President? Would you have voted for her? If not, what celebrity would you piss all over democracy for? (Uproxx)
Hustle Blood: Big Boi’s 20 Best Guest Appearances — As much as I enjoyed Sir Lucious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dusty, I would pay a lot of money to see a reunited Outkast live. I just need to hear “BOB,” and watch the crowd awkwardly try to keep up with the lyrics. (Smoking Section)
SHUT. DOWN. EVERYTHING. Abobo’s Big Adventure Has Officially Begun — One sentence from this post features the words “dragon,” “tears,” “NES,” “killing,” and “kidnapped.” I am intrigued. (Gamma Sqaud)
DROP EVERYTHING! The New Bill Murray/Wes Anderson Has a Trailer — Let’s do this: 1) Rushmore, 2) The Royal Tenenbaums, 3) Fantastic Mr. Fox, 4) The Life Aquatic, 5) Bottle Rocket, 6) The Darjeeling Limited. (Film Drunk)
May These Breaking Bad and Hunger Games Valentines Be Ever In Your Favor — “Yo! We’ve got some great chemistry, bitch” is the “I choo-choo-choose you” of “Breaking Bad” Valentine’s Day cards. (Uproxx)
Side-by-Side Comparison of Average-Sized Woman with a Supermodel Will Blow Out Your Mindhole — Mindhole. Blown. (Pajiba)
12 Stars Who Got Their Start on “One Life to Live” — Thank you for Nathan Fillion and Tommy Lee Jones. You can have Ryan Phillippe back. (The FW)
The 10 Boldest Comedians of Our Time — “Throw the Jew Down the Well” is still one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. (Buzzfeed)
The United States of Binge Drinkers — One out of every four Wisconsin residents is a drunk says SCIENCE. I went to the Wisconsin Wikipedia page, and one of the first things you see is a painting of the first white man to explore the state. He’s wildly shooting his guns in the air to scare away the Native Americans, who in turn are about to destroy the guy with spears. It’s like a real-life “Parks and Rec” mural. (The High Definite)
Every Musical “Guest” Who Ever Appeared on “South Park” — I’m still afraid to say Biggie Smalls’ name three times in a row. (Screen Junkies)
And here’s a video of all the POV shots from “Breaking Bad.” It’s a MUCH better visual effect than that thing Zach Braff used to do all the time, when everyone around him moved quickly, while he remained still. METAPHOR.
I want more like this!
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