I think the Hollywood Foreign Press decided to let Ricky Gervais host the Golden Globes again as revenge for last year, knowing that celebrities would spend most of the night making (mostly bad) jokes at Gervais’ expense. And since Gervais pulled a lot of punches himself (thus diminishing his own self-created legendary status), it made for an uneventful ceremony, save for a few notable highlights (Seth Rogen’s erection, Uggie the Dog, and George Clooney’s fondness for Michael Fassbender’s penis).
My guess is that this year’s ceremony will be the last we see of Ricky Gervais as host of the Golden Globes for a while. But what we do know is that beloved, revered, hilarious Louis C.K. will not be hosting the ceremony any time soon, as he explained to critics yesterday before the ceremony.
It would be false for me to [host the Golden Globe Awards] … I’d have to go see everything and pretend I give a s— and I don’t … Ricky’s a dear friend of mine. He’s one of the funniest guys I know. But the jokes about current movie stars and … celebrities, that kind of humor is —I did that for a long time. I worked for late night TV. I wrote for Chris Rock, and Conan, and Letterman, and you had to know who every celebrity was, ever ne’er do well, and you had to have this deep knowledge of what America’s looking at. And it made me really sick.
On the one hand: Exactly! On the other hand: Ouch. Thanks for minimizing what we do, Louis. You don’t think that a “deep knowledge of what America’s looking at” doesn’t make us sick? But the great thing about it is, if we don’t “give a s— “, we don’t have to “pretend to give a s— .” Instead of reporting it, we explain why it makes us sick.
Wouldn’t it be hugely refreshing if the host of the Golden Globes didn’t “give a s— ,” either? You know what’s better than a host who skewers celebrity? A host who doesn’t care about celebrity. That would be the ultimate slap in the face to Angelina Jolie’s bobble head; Madonna’s sinewy arms; and George Clooney’s unctuous charm. Instead of plying them with negative attention, IGNORE them and make masturbation jokes, instead. That would make the celebrities FURIOUS, and — in turn — the viewers at home happy.
It’s win win.