
Over the weekend, Christina Aguleria sang at the funeral for R&B singer Etta James in Los Angeles, an event that was later aired on CNN. The co-host of NBC’s “The Voice” performed James’s most memorable song, “At Last,” and she sounded the way she always does: like a malfunctioning diva whose undeniable talent was overshadowed by her desire to over-emote every note. She’s a parody of a soul singer, a “Glee” character.
But her wailing is beside the point…WHAT WAS DRIPPING DOWN HER LEG? In the picture above, you’ll see something brown or red leaking down her right leg, and the Internet has decided it was one of two things: spray tan or period blood. It’s possible for a woman to sing so hard that she could have a “tampon malfunction,” according to my source (an anonymous “woman” on a message board), but it’s just as likely that her equally-disgusting liquid tan could have oozed down. Either way: it’s NBC’s fault, probably.
This is IMPORTANT news, so important, in fact, that “Trickle Down” should no longer be a term associated with economics and Ronnie Reagan. From now on, it will be used only to discuss Christina Aguleria’s fake tan or menstruation cycle. I think it’s Aunt Flo, because “Moves like Jagger,” the Maroon 5 song which she sings on, is like the period blood stain on the proverbial white sofa that is pop music. Trend! Judge for yourself below.
Also, who the fu*k takes out their cell phone during a funeral?




If today were tomorrow, here is where I would post a GIF of Jonah Hill dancing with Lizzie from Undeclared in Superbad. Alas.
If today were several weeks from from now and I were funny, I would post this.
(h/t BurritoBrosShit)
Figaro is always relevant.
In the same vein of the Superbad mention I present:
[www.lamebook.com]
“If Today Were Tomorrow” sounds like the best Nickelback song of all time.
It’s probably just sweat.
Methinks sweat too, trailing the ninety gallons of bronzer she’s covered in. CASE SOLVED.
She should have built in a pocket square for a napkin or dishrag.
I’m sure after hearing some of the stories about her mega bitch attitude (which granted when you are Etta James you are allowed to be a mega bitch) that Etta is so fucking thrilled with the fact her memorial service was overshadowed by a clotting issue.
I’ve also heard the rumor that Always Pads has decided to start sponsering funerals “Etta James: With Wings”
I think she’s dead, so she doesn’t care
I am all for never knowing and never seeing that picture again.
Hmmmm, it could be sweat. Or it could be urine. Maybe it’s even doodie water. Either way, I’m going to vomit now.
Looks like sweat and excess spray tan to me.
Or maybe what’s left of her dignity.
What’s left of Christina Aguilera’s dignity ran down her leg and stained my linens a long time ago, Patty.
I’m pretty sure she used up what was left of her dignity as well as some she borrowed from Stanley Tucci in that atrocity that was Burlesque.
I don’t think that drinking whiskey before noon will make me unsee that, but on the off chance it might….
If it looks & moves like Jager, maybe vodka isn’t the only thing tampons are being soaked in.
I’m guessing semen.
Seriously, she she be banned from wearing skirts.
My other guess is bacon grease.
That’s pretty gross but is it any worse than looking at her face?
One word: “Santorum”
This made me snort-laugh
As I understand it, when Peter Gabriel passes on, she’s gonna sing “Red Rain” at his funeral.
* so sorry. Grossed out myself on that one*
At Michael Jackson’s funeral, she sang something off of “Blood on the Dancefloor.”
No audio at work. Which of Ms. James’ dozens of renowned masterpieces did she butcher?
Aaaaaaaat Laaaaaaaaaaast
Not a good choice hard on the heels of colonic irrigation.
I guess we should have believed her when she said she was “Dirrrty.”
(good lord, that song is almost 10 years old)
Shed a tear for that poor janitorial staff.
Hey, it’s not easy keeping an entire post-show ham between your thighs.
Tell me about it!
I’m going with sweat, but I’m hoping for living conjoined twin.
Roast Beef Au Jus.
Why the #@%! can’t I update my avatar?!
I’ll keep repeating what I see: SAAAANNNNTTOOOOORRRRUUUUUMMMMM!!
Sang so hard she pissed herself. Happens to me everyday.
Taint no mountain high enough…
Taint no valley low enough…
Taint no river wild enough…
To keep me from you-ew!
LMAO what in the hell is that? Showed a buddy and he said that was how she lost weight.