Justified (FX) - Carla Gugino is on tonight's episode. After the events of last week, please be advised that the Boyd Crowder Hair Threat Level has been temporarily upgraded from Unruly to Partial Electrocution. (NOTE: I have attached six more promo shots of Carla Gugino's appearance to this post. You are all quite welcome.)
State of the Union Address (Every channel) - Presidents always invite inspirational figures or people who overcame adversity and have them sit up in the box with the First Lady. If I was president, I would put a koala in a little tiny tuxedo up there. YOUR MOVE, POLITICAL OPPONENTS.
Southland (TNT) - Tonight's episode features a guest spot by Marla Gibbs, who played Florence on "The Jeffersons." This is as good a reason as any to link to this video of Sherman Hemsley dancing.
Chopped (Food Network) - Four previous runners-up have to incorporate root beer schnapps and sweetbreads into their dishes. FUN FACT: I am typing this sentence while making my icky face.
White Collar (USA) - Yesterday was Tiffani Thiessen's birthday. I can't believe Uproxx made me work. WHAT DO WE WANT? Holidays based on the birthdays of celebrities we used to have crushes on! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? Preferably by Britney Spears' birthday in early December!
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Elizabeth Banks and Ben McKenzie (Ryan from "The O.C.") on Kimmel, and Sam Worthington and a whip-cracking champion named Adam Winrich on Conan. Everyone else is in repeats, but Tina Fey is on Letterman, and it's the episode of Ferguson that they taped in Paris, if you're so inclined.
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Obama takes stage, calls Newt Gingrich a man whore, drops mic, peace sign, out.
Would it be “pandering to the base” if he turned the State of the Union into a freestyle political rap battle?
Considering the other side heckled insults from the audience last time around, he might as fucking well.
Only if he has Joe Biden beat box.
Yeah, it must be difficult to always take the moral high ground like the left always does… completely ignoring things like the Vice President calling an entire group of Americans “terrorists”. Democrats win! Yea! Lets make insulting jokes about all of the Republican candidates and retain our moral superiority. Hypocrisy much?
Yo, for real, anyone who uses phrases like “the left” or “the right” and then makes rash generalizations about the entire group can get bent in the most violent manner possible.
Boyd’s hair characterized as Partial Electrocution is probably the most accurate/funny thing I’ve heard in weeks
What’s a matter, Danger, animals born and bred right here in the ol’ U.S. of A. aren’t good enough for your commie ass?!? Impeach!!!
What did the Republican say to the Democrat?
We’re all fuckin thieves.
Ummm… Ben McKenzie (Ryan from “The O.C.”) is also Officer Ben Sherman on TNT’s “Southland”–one of the shows you highlighted for tonight! It has the misfortune to be on against “Justified,” but it is an underrated, underappreciated gem. Thanks to the magic of DVR, I have something to watch on craptacular Mondays when nothing else decent is on.
Gugino:Squish::Thiessen:DG
Carla Gugino is in way too much clothing television.
They better bring back Gugino. Need more Raylan and Sisco.