Whitney/Are You There, Chelsea (NBC) — If you care about the quick return of “Community,” you will not watch the premiere of “Are You There, Chelsea” tonight. If for some reason it’s good (it’s not), we’ll let you know. And you already know that “Whitney” is no damn good. So, avoid them. Tell all your friends to avoid them. If you know someone with a Nielsen Box who plans to watch these two shows, burn their houses down. The sooner these shows are canceled, the sooner we can watch the “Law & Order” episode of “Community.”
The Middle (ABC) — Instead of “Whitney,” give “The Middle” a shot if you haven’t already. Every other episode is pretty good; maybe you’ll catch it on a good night. What I can guarantee is that it will be better than “Whitney.” Seriously, in tonight’s episode, Whitney comes home and unexpectedly and catches Alex masturbating. No one wants to see that.
Suburgatory (ABC) — If, like me, you’re having “Cougar Town” withdrawals, Dan Byrd (who plays Travis on “CT”) shows up, and Tessa confuses him for gay when in fact he’s pulling a “21 Jumpstreet.”
Happy Endings (ABC) — What I’m saying is, watch ABC tonight. Also, Michael McKean shows up as Dave’s father, who will introduce his new girlfriend, Penny’s mother (a.ka., Megan Mulally, a.k.a., Tammy #2)
The People’s Choice Awards (CBS) — The “People’s Choice Awards” are, fittingly, on CBS, because the people love CBS. And by people, I mean your parents. At least they might get a small thrill out of the host Kaley Cuoco, who I can’t hate even though she’s on “The Big Bang Theory” (the show I care least about on television. Don’t hate it. Don’t like it. It just is).
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Dolly Parton is on Dave, Liam Neeson is on Leno, Yvonne Strahovski is on Kimmel, Jack McBrayer is on Conan, and Rosie O’Donnell is on Fallon. Also check out primary election coverage on “The Daily Show” (with Senator Jim DeMint) and “The Colbert Report” (with George Stephanopoulos).
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Kaley Cuoco timed her entertainment industry career almost perfectly. She got stereotyped as a “hot girl” and it stuck just long enough for her to get work before her looks settled in as slightly above average.
Done!
Except for the The Middle part. I’ve tried. I can’t do it.
I wouldn’t watch Chelsea even if I hated Community.
So people with taste won’t be watching Whitney/Are You There, Chelsea and I suspect middle America won’t be either. There’s always me, I guess.
If, like me, you’re having “Cougar Town” withdrawals
I am not like you.
If you know someone with a Nielsen Box who plans to watch these two shows, burn their houses down
I would but all nielson boxes are clearly located somewhere between the bible and rust belts. There’s no other explanation for CSI/NCIS.
I’ve tried to get into “Happy Endings” and it’s just not working for me. Who are the likable characters on that show? Seriously, I can’t tell.
Think of it as a networkified “Always Sunny.” The characters tend to be selfish, with different alliances every week. Throw in rapid-fire dialog and charming performances from Elisha Cuthbert, Damon Wayans Jr, and the schlubby gay dude, and I watch it every week.
OK, I sort of liked Cuthbert, Wayans, and Adam Pally. I’ll check out tonight’s show at some point since Megan Mulally and Michael McKean can make anything funny.
I don’t watch Always Sunny. I know I am a horrible person, this is just confirmation.
Here’s the way I look at it: If Sunny was just one guy, then Happy Endings would totally be a talkative, insecure chick; the show could be written by all men for all I know, but there’s a strong feminine vibe coming from this show, which adds to its quirkiness. To take this (weak) analogy even further….
Always Sunny: Drunk, selfish son
Happy Endings: Hot chick
Community: Nerdy and sarcastic little brother
Cougar Town: Lighthearted (and semi-drunk) mother
Parks & Rec: Hard-working and open-minded father
@Joey: Newsletter — got one?
Can’t stand that bleached out old bitch Chelsea Handler, formaldehyde squirts out her twat when she’s excited watching the pain olympics
I seriously cannot wait for “Whitney” to crash and burn, away from its cosy little post-”Office” Thursday night cocoon.
Sweet, sweet schadenfreude.
Was mildly interested when I saw Laura Prepon had a new show. Watched 2 seconds of promo clip, heard laugh track after nothing funny happened, immediately lost interest.
I’ve never been able to get into her as a blonde. Just seems wrong.
If you love yourself, you will not watch ‘Are You There, Chelsea?’
Fuck it, I’m admitting it: I don’t mind Whitney. It makes me chuckle and, despite the comments around here, I actually would bend one into her. Yup, that just happened
Welcome to__s e e k i n g u n i f o r m.c o m_ It’s the largest and best club for seeking people in uniform and the admirers of those who wear the uniform.come here, you can find friendship, love, romance, marriage or even more.
“Even more”??!
What else is there??
Ever since Danger brought up the obvious sexual chemistry on Suburgatory I can not watch it without thinking they are boinking behind the scenes which is making the father daughter heart to heart conversations really difficult to watch. Do people still say boinking?
Mission accomplished. By the way I realized tonight I enjoy Suburgatory much more than I thought I would.
Suburgatory’s not too bad. There are some actual laughs. The Middle is schlocky and unfunny, though.
I still refuse to watch her show, but Whitney was on the first episode of Dave Attell’s Showtime show “Old Porn,” and she was pretty damn funny.
And I too miss Cougar Town, but I also love Happy Endings, so I’m okay with the trade-off.
This reminds me of another DVR feature wish I have: to be able to set it to automatically change the channel when a specific show is on. And it should magically count as anti-ratings since I hate it enough to want to never have to see it.