Michelle, if you're reading this, just know that I never hated Dawn.
Gossip Girl (CW) – My fiancée watches “Gossip Girl” (necessary disclaimer), and every season of the show is more nonsensical than the last. Meaning, it’s a Josh Schwartz series. Tonight, Leighton Meester gets married to a prince. Why? I have no idea. Prince of what? No clue. Is Michelle Trachtenberg involved? YES.
RuPaul’s Drag Race (Logo) – I’ve heard this is the greatest reality show ever (which is a bit like having the world’s smallest large-screen TV, to steal a line from Hank Azaria), from people who otherwise hate reality shows. On a dull Monday night, “Drag Race” might be your best option. I owe RuPaul as much, considering he was the first drag queen I ever knew by name and that’s not something you forget. Thanks, Brady Bunch Movie.
Fear Factor (NBC) – If I was working on a computer that didn’t track my online searches, I’d look into how many times the phrase “donkey semen” was Google’d last week, compared to any other week ever. You’d assume there’d be a major increase, but there are a lot of Germans out there, so who knows.
Fashion Police (E!) – Doesn’t it seem like Giuliana Rancic has been on E! for roughly 46 years now?
Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives (Food Network) – Our favorite bleach-blonde, greasy walrus makes “deep fried pork chops with sweet and spicy pepper jelly,” which is also how Guy likes his women.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Jennifer Lopez and Rob Schneider on Letterman; Madonna, Chris Colfer, and Joe Perry on Leno; Marc Maron and Fishbone on Kimmel; Don Cheadle and Andrea Riseborough on Ferguson; Glenn Close, Emma Rossum, and Nada Surf on Fallon; Maya Rudolph and Chris Gethard on Conan; Lou Dobbs on Stewart; and Laurence H. Tribe on Colbert.
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All the way through law school I guess I just assumed Laurence Tribe looks exactly like Lawrence O’Donnell. At this point, I’ll just wait the extra couple hours to find out.
Guy? Eating fried stuff? Next you’ll be telling me that he somehow makes it look unappetizing!
Michelle will always be Nona Mecklenberg to me….except now, you know, we’re both of legal age to bone.
I am still bitter that little bitch replaced artie, the strongest man….in the world.
Michelle Trachtenberg, drag queens and Guy Fieri seems like the worst Marry/Fuck/Kill game ever. I mean, you have your kill already decided.
Don’t forget there’s that one show tonight about the Alcatraz prisoners, who disappear from Alcatraz prison 50 years ago, then mysteriously reappear at Alcatraz, only to commit crimes in the area around Alcatraz, so Hurley and the blonde have to solve those crimes from their base inside Alcatraz.
I think it’s called “Reappearing Prison Guys and Hurley”.
Hurley is hosting his own food network prime time food show called “Hurley and Alka-Seltzer.” In episode 1 he spoils a mayonnaise eating contest by snatching a jar of mayo out of one of contestant’s hands.
I’ve got a reality show in development where I use a taser on a bunch of raging drunks. We call it “Alky-Spaz”
What I don’t get is after four full weeks of Hurley chasing escaped felons through the mists of time tight on the shoulder of a feisty, hammered square like a gymnast looking gal, he doesn’t manage to lose any weight.
Or maybe I’m just confused because I read left to right AND TOP TO BOTTOM LIKE A WHITE PERSON
Epic failure when more people tune in to Fear Factor tonight hoping for donkey semen than during sweeps when they actually roll it out. Again NBC, Chekhov, gun, mantle.
“Donkey Semen” would be a pretty good name for a band.
I liked them before they were popular
Wow….Colbert’s going to blow another Liberal…
FYI: Bringing politics into a non-political post is also a great way to not get GIF/video privileges.
Just like in the last couple of weeks, when he had David Frum, Steve Case and Mike Allen on. So many liberals to blow, so little time!
But if those guys aren’t enough and you hate the free market so much, maybe you could insist on some kind of affirmative action program to get more conservatives on late-night TV. It sure as hell worked with the Sunday morning news shows.
Also, too.
I love you dearly, Otto, but my previous comment applies to you too. We don’t need to fight about politics EVERY time someone says something political.
You dudes’re bringing knives to a whippets fight, maaaan *sucks down remainder of economysize Magic Sizing can*
Sorry, sir. I saw an older boy doing it first.
FIRST GIF
Pfft. It’s a pretty standard stunt, Homer.
Ice-T says FUCK THA FASHION PO-LICE!
HOLY FUCK I got privileges. MMMMmmmm…that’s insightful commentary.
My face when I saw I could post pictures
[i42.tinypic.com]
*sigh* Guess I’ll try this “be funny and insightful” thing. Then someday I’ll learn how to indent and put links in the text.