CBS’ ‘Sherlock Holmes’ Clusterf**k Just Got Clusterf**kier

Look, I am as progressive as they come. I’ve been writing about feminism and cinema for eight years. My wife went to Smith College, people. Do you know what means? That means, when you get married, you hand over one testicle for “safe keeping.” If I were to say or write something that weren’t sympathetic with the feminist cause, well, that’s what garbage disposals are for (Caveats: Appreciation of the female form is totally acceptable and in fact encouraged; objectification is also allowed SO LONG as it’s equal opportunity objectification).

But even I have issues with this news because, while I am of the mind that shattering that glass ceiling is about three centuries overdue, I draw the line at Watson.

Lucy Liu has been cast as Sherlock Holmes right-hand (wo)man in CBS’ “Elementary” pilot.

The drama is a modern take on the cases of Sherlock Holmes in which Sherlock (Eli Stone’s Jonny Lee Miller) is a recovering addict and consultant for the NYPD. Liu will play Joan Watson, a former surgeon-turned-sober companion who looks after Holmes.

I’m not being anti-feminist. I’m being anti-bastardization. Look: It’s not that I have a problem, in most respects, with gender-reversing roles. Nor do I have a problem with Lucy Liu (she’s actually very good in “Southland” right now, and she kicked a whole lotta ass in Kill Bill). It’s that it goes against the spirit of Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock. He was a fairly asexual dude (save for a brief attraction to Irene Adler), and there was a very turn-of-the-century type bromance going on between Sherlock and Watson (captured with with some success in Guy Ritchie’s movies, but moreso in the BBC series). However, this? You know exactly what CBS has in mind: One of those “Moonlighting”-style, will-they, won’t-they, on-again, off-again relationships rife with sexual tension. That’s great, JUST NOT FOR SHERLOCK MOTHERF***ING HOLMES. It’s unacceptable. It goes against the very spirit of the source material. CBS is not developing a Sherlock Holmes’ series. It’s making “Castle,” only the names are borrowed from Conan Doyle. At least “House” had the decency to call it something else.

(Source: TV Guide)