Have you ever wanted to try Apple Jack’s made with single malt scotch? Or Fruity Paintballs with the sweet artificial flavor of chicken fingers? Or Tobias Funke’s blue balls? Now you can, and if you act now, Ron Swanson’s Bacon n’ Eggs Cereal comes with a free copy of Be a Man: The Pawnee Rangers Handbook.
My only issue with these TV-inspired cereal boxes is the one for “Community,” because 1) Alison Brie is pushed to the background, and 2) she’s wearing all of her clothes, and 3) she’s not in GIF form.
(Cabletv.com via Buzzfeed)
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The others look like a real cereal but the paintballs…that’s just candy man. CANDY FOR BREAKFAST? Are we Child Beauty Queens now?
Tobias Wolfe? Don’t you mean Funke?
COME ON!
Seriously Dustin you are the phone in an article king. I am surprised each box wasn’t on a new page to up view count.
I too would like to complain about free content.
Bring back Danger. What’s that? He never left you say? Liar! It is Friday afternoon and I have yet to see a single Corgi. Were Danger alive, he’d never stand for this!
I feel like the well ran dry quite a while ago on the whole “All the bacon and eggs you have” thing. The original line is genius, obviously, but it’s been run into the ground for so many different reasons since then that it’s lost some of its appeal.
but… ITS NICE
I’d rather have a Leslie Knope-approved waffles/whipped cream cereal.
Tastes great with salgar!
I could go for some “Archer’s Gummi Bears” cereal. Just add scotch.
Wolfe? The Internet sentences you to 40 hours of listening to Dr. Funke’s 100 Percent Natural Good Time Family Band Solution.
Tobias Wolfe?! What was I thinking? Too much English literature. And The Hammer: You and I need to settle this once and for all. Man to Man. Maybe in a big vat of mud with a giant python between us and women in wet T-shirts surrounding us all sides. Or is that not homoerotic enough for you, because no one has disliked me as much as you since that college roommate that tried to fuck me in my sleep.
I’m keeping the lights on from now on, that’s all I’m saying.
IMMA RIDE YOU
But seriously though IDK man you seem to just go to the lowest internet denominator like lists all the time and when you’re not doing lists you’re pandering and it reeks of effort. You are like the Anti-Matt birthed from some sort of lame animal like a platypus instead of a jackal. That and I’m an asshole.
I hear you, brother. And don’t think I don’t appreciate you sh*tting on me all the time. Assholes keep us on our ties. But if it feels like pandering, I assure you I come about it honestly. I love a good list. I’ve written around 800 in the last three years. I dream lists. It’s some sort of defective gene, like my DNA was scrambled by too much Internet exposure. It’s just wiring, man. Fortunately for you, we’ve also got Danger, who is not the Anti-Matt, and who will hopefully fulfill your non-list, non-graphic heavy, pro Corgi quota here on Warming Glow, so you will stick around and continue to give me shit on a daily basis.
– Lame Animal-like Platypus
Yeah I’m not goin anywhere. You’re still better than a Gawker Media writer for whatever that back handed compliment is worth.
And me!
/shows self out.
Really? Anyone who uses some Photoshop and cereal boxes is doing work for the people.
4 reasons why you should try— uniformedkiss*c’o’m
1) The largest military dating and communicating site
2) 10+ years experience of online dating and communicating service
3 Free to browse and place photo ads
4) Lots of servicemen and beautiful women on the site
Let’s join in and have fun. p.s. The admirers of those uniformed person are also warmly welcome, there are lots of servicemen and women.