Weekend Preview: The Oscars, Dunks, Zombies, and Kenny Powers

The 84th Academy Awards (ABC, Sunday) – Did I just steal Vince’s photoshop from the Film Drunk Oscars Drinking Game open thread? Maybe. Do I regret it? Not in the least. Am I just going to keep asking myself questions for the rest of this entry? It sure looks like it. (NOTE: Drew Magary’s Hater’s Guide to the 2012 Academy Awards is one of the funniest and most profane things I’ve read in a while.)

Fringe (FOX, Friday) – I like to poke fun at fans of this show, but I’m the same guy who has seen almost every episode of “Franklin & Bash” twice. I guess what I’m saying, bros, is that people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones or bang their neighbor’s wife even if she’s a total smokeshow. [bongs Red Bull & vodka, bangs neighbors wife]

The Firm (NBC, Saturday) – “The Firm“? MORE LIKE “The Limp,” amirite question mark [holds hand up waiting for high five that never comes]

Witchslayer Gretl (Syfy, Saturday) – Working at Syfy seems fun.

NBA All-Star Saturday Night (TNT, Saturday) – Even at its worst, the Slam Dunk Contest is still like an hour of people dunking. Put it on mute and have some friends over for drinks.

The Walking Dead/Comic Book Men (AMC, Sunday) – One show is about lifeless monsters wandering the globe trying to suck the life out of every person they come in contact with, and the other is about zombies. BOOM. Still got it, DG.

Luck/Eastbound & Down (HBO, Sunday) – IDEA: Crossover episode. Kenny Powers goes on the lam for a week to escape loan sharks, and appears on “Luck” as a mysterious new horse trainer named Rex America. One thing leads to another and he ends up having to fill in for one of the jockeys. As soon as he mounts the horse, it looks at the camera like “Is this guy SERIOUS?” and there’s a record scratch sound effect. LOLs everywhere. Geez, TV writing is easy.

After the jump, the video for “Pony” by Ginuwine. Tom Haverford and I have very similar Oh No No Lists.