136th Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show (CNBC/USA, 9 p.m.) – The fine looking lady you see above is one of the contestants at this year’s dog orgy, a.k.a. the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. Mr. Ufford was reporting live from the scene earlier for his new gig. Sample Tweet: “Best Monday morning ever.” (Banner via)
How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 8 p.m.) – During the Grammys, a slew of CBS personalities came out to present awards, read from teleprompters, and discuss the importance of dub-step. Seeing them all together in one room really solidified something: I hate every show on CBS that isn’t “How I Met.” Mixed compliment aside, Marshall, Lily, Robin, and Kevin go to Vermont, and Barney “meets his match.” STDS??? Probably not.
Being Human (SyFy, 9 p.m.) – Do you ever root for someone in a TV show or movie because they have the same name as you? For instance, one of the reasons why I like Clueless so much (outside of my love of rollin’ with my homies) is because Paul Rudd’s character is named Josh. (On the flip-side, I also hate bad films and shows that have the BALLS to use my name, like “Drake and Josh.”) There’s a character on “Being Human” named Josh, and he’s a werewolf. We have so much in common!
Smash (NBC, 10 p.m.) – Admit it, you liked the pilot of “Smash.” It did a great job of effectively introducing us to a huge group of characters, while simultaneously setting up the season-long battle between Katharine McPhee and Megan Hilty’s characters. Needless to say, I’ll root for anyone who once played Chevy Chase’s daughter.
100 Greatest Women in Music (VH1, 10 p.m.) – 5) Lady Miss Kier from Deee-Lite; 4) Janice from Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem; 3) Girl rapper from Karmin; 2) The woman who touched herself from Divinyls; and 1) Tracy Chapman. There, saved you four hours.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: “Ten of the 2012 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition models present the Top Ten List, followed by the reveal of the cover model,” according to Zap 2 It, on Letterman; Jennifer Lopez and Jeff Dunham on Leno (hahahaha); Jeff Goldblum and Lana Del Rey on Kimmel; Carol Burnett on Ferguson; Nicolas Cage on Kimmel; Ice-T, Coco, and Adam Palley on Conan; Fawzia Koofi on Stewart; and Bill McKibben on Colbert.